Holistically Human

We are in the throws of a major revolution. Or maybe you’d call it an evolution. However you want to look at it, things are changing in our world more quickly than in any point of known history. 

Admittedly, I have been confused as to how I have ended up in life where I am. I started out studying business, but only because my dad refused to support schooling in the fashion industry, where I really wanted to go. I figured that a business background would be useful, I could work in the “fashion industry”. Of course you later find out that the industry is very much a “who you know” or “how much you already have” situation where naturally extremely talented individuals can and do rise, but they are typically on the creative side. As in studied fashion or fine arts. I digress.

So it was business. So I worked in big business. So I died a little inside. And it surfaced outside of me in the form of hives for over a year. It was as though my body was screaming from the inside. One of the first major sweeps of our current revolution “saved” me from this with layoffs (AKA 2008). Maybe it was intuition, a dash of passionate interest, sprinkled with a burning desire to heal my hives situation, but when I lost my job, I was already half way through studying for a certificate in holistic health counseling. And in that program my interest for local, organic, whole foods as a source of healing the person and the world, became a new passion. 

I refused to re-enter the corporate world and did all I could to stay afloat doing work I cared about. I took a seasonal job as a local produce buyer. I worked for a startup nonprofit in sustainable agriculture. But I could not sustain me. I couldn’t afford rent. I hadn’t realized a way to do what I cared about and to take care of me. I know many, many of us face this every day. We are not all so lucky to have such fantastic choice of vocation as others. There is truly no “fair” reconciliation of this. Only that we must do what we have to do and somehow find that passion for what we feel we want to do, what maybe we were born to do, with the energy and time we have outside of the way we make our paychecks. Those of us lucky enough will at one point have an opening to reconcile our passions and paychecks. But it’s not just luck, we have to also take risks.

And risk is where I am heading with all of this. 

Back when I was studying the nutrition, I was very convinced that I neede to write a book called Holistically Human.  This book would be about how we’re living in the throws of a time when technology is evolving so much more quickly than our biological selves and because of this we are suffering. We have anxiety, depression, diabetes, obesity, digestive issues and autoimmune diseases galore. I see these as great symptoms of a great change. 

I haven’t written that book. Not yet. Somehow I didn’t feel I had all of the pieces.

Back to my confusion. After some deep introspection during my time spent living at the yoga ashram, I decide to (finally) apply for the Peace Corps. I had wanted to do the Peace Corps since my freshman year of college when I met a group of returned volunteers at a study abroad fair. They all seemed so different than most people I met. They had this knowing about them that I admired.

However, with the death of my brother during my junior year of college, I felt paralyzed to go so far away from my family for such a long period of time. So I dropped the idea from my conscious mind. But it never went away truly. 

In 2011 I embarked on a 2-year journey to Eastern Europe to do whatever was asked of me. I did know I’d learn a lot about the world, myself, and about humans in general. I also knew that I’d gain a better understanding of how government, public, and private industry work together to solve societal problems. And all of this did happen. And then I came home. And then what?

I often find myself in envy of people who always know what comes next. “I’m going to Peace Corps, then I’m getting my JD, then I’m moving to Montana and buying 300 acres and having 5 babies”. Well isn’t that nice?! What a plan! But that’s not me. I don’t lay it out like that for whatever reason. And yes, I know all of the books that teach us about the secrets of realizing our greatest desires say we need a CLEAR picture of what we want to and hold that, then we'll get it. But aren't we also supposed to be careful what we wish for? The only thing I clearly know that I want is peace of mind, happiness, and health.

I guess I don’t trust my fleeting desires for what I WANT as much as I trust that the smaller choices I make daily in my life lead me to what I NEED. Maybe I am wrong but hopefully that as I grow wiser with time, my choices just keep getter better.

"And so how the f did I end up here?" I've spent the last year asking myself. I am not making good money. I do not own a home. (Nor a second home obvi...a desire). I do not have a gaggle of children. I would not be considered successful in the eyes of many. And certainly not in the eyes of my 19-year old fashion industry-wanting self. 

But you know what I've finally realize I am doing? I am facing that revolution I've been so aware, the first major kick of which I experienced in 2009. The awareness likely spans my entire life. I finally feel that I am alive right now to somehow play, no matter how small, a role in preparing us for this revolution. For preparing and for sustaining in a flexible, adaptable way. 

In my current role, I am developing and implementing programs that teach high school students about the entrepreneurial mindset. My boss inspires me with his reason for doing what we do: because the world is rapidly changing and we can assuredly predict that that change will continue at an ever-increasing rate. Bill Gates himself shares concern for the number of jobs that will soon be replaced by AI and the “software substitution”. Yes, the coming technology will change things and we need to have people prepared for this in more ways than simply knowing how to work with technology. Of course we need programmers and consultants and IT project managers, but more than that, we need to let young people know about this change and prepare them to be flexible, adaptable, and yes, entrepreneurial. Because with great change, comes great opportunity. And those who know how to recognize this opportunity, who are willing to take risks, to approach it, to work with it, to bring value to others, will flourish in our new world. 

It’s not just about food and nutrition, spiritual wellbeing, beauty and fashion, money. It’s not just about one thing. It's holistic. I wanted to write about the holistic human, and how to thrive in our world of tomorrow. There is more to the picture, and I am immersed in that now. I am grateful. I would not be here if not for the journey to here.

OM tat sat.

The Next Big Thing

I wrote this blog post first in my head last night while I was lying in bed, mind spinning, unable to sleep.  This is a common problem among people and I know for me it's usually the first sign that I am getting off-balance.  When I have had too many nights in a row of mind-racing, I know there are some big changes ahead.  The hardest part is that these changes are ones that I need to implement.  Sometimes we just need some guidelines, whatever they might be, to tack us along, to stoke the fire of motivation...

At the ashram, Swami Sita would tell the story of the mind being like a lake.  When it's still, we can see straight through to the bottom of the the clear waters, into the depths of what lies beneath.  We can also see the reflection of the trees, mountains, hills, plains, buildings...whatever is of our world, we see in a clear reflection.  And so once this lake is disturbed, with waves (thoughts), the water gets to be murky and the view of the world around us, distorted.  In other words, the more thoughts we have and the more excited our thoughts are, whether happy/sad/angry ect., the more we disturb the mind and induce the forgetting of "that which lies within" or, our purpose, and begin to distort our world, bringing on a need for judgement rather that pure observation.  It's the cycle.  We are all intimate with these fluctuations.  

And so it's time for me to get this lake of mine to calm down.  I canfind some empathy for myself.  I did just move halfway across the world two and a half months ago, and I am looking at 24 more months of living in this new place, without familiar faces of friends and family, not knowing what my work will look like and so on and so forth.  Last night was my first real "fight" with myself about this.  As tears welled up about all of the things I would miss in the lives of many of the people whom I love, I moved further from the sleep I desperately needed.

And with this blog, with you, the beautiful soul sharing  in these words, I want to retain a space where I can transmute some of this "excitement".  These pages are not only a journal, but a place for me to take those waves from my lake, or better to prevent the winds from ever reaching its shores.  And so that means I share truth, my truth, and this makes me quite vulnerable to you-doesn't it?  But I am going to be OK with that (over time).  I trust you and I love you.  We are all in this together.

And so, also with this blog, I hope to have a place of consistency and regularity.  After recieving my placement in Moldova with Peace Corps, I scanned the web for blogs of volunteers already in-country.  I noticed many blogs having large gaps-sometimes for months at a time.  "Hmmmm", I thought, "I wonder why?"  I had my suspicions of course.  People get complacent, tired, lazy, busy, bored...depressed.  And once I got here and spoke to the volunteers (many of whom did admit to not keeping up with their blogs), coupled with my own apathy to share what amounts to, at times, more hearthache and lonliness than sunshine and rainbows, my suspicions were confirmed.  Moldova is a tough place.  Though most of us have toilets and running water, there is a layer of mental stress here that can be more difficult to overcome than the hardships of physical infrastructure and economic constraint.  These "thought waves" that we are swimming in here are of a calliber that will take some strengthening of ones own mind to overcome.  I have heard numerous accounts of depression, especially in the dark and cold days of winter.  I anticipate that my own mind will take some downward turns.

And so last night, as I didn't sleep, I began to plan a way to ensure that I stay on top of myself mentally (and physically will be good too!) to ensure that at the very least I am posting on this blog once per month.  Yesterday, I came accross a free Ebook on a Twitter post.  It was called Ascension.   Being the new-agey type that I am, I have an interest in other's views of how our world is changing in the more sublte realms.  And this link came from a yogi I follow so I indugled.  I began to look over the document last night and found that it provides, "27 steps towards The Art of Ascension as taught by the Ishayas".  The who?  Their website states, "The Art of Ascension is a systematic mechanical process that directs the mind to the stable point of reference...the home or seat of consciousness itself....Ascension is simple and effortless.  It takes more energy to maintain our fear and illusions of life than it does to relax into the simplicity of the present moment."  Ok, it's yoga.  Just a different taste.  Yoga is like this...like ice cream, like religion, like shoes...there are all different kinds but ultimately the function is the same.  For yoga, the function is to still the mind. 

And so, no I am not subsrcibing to some new sect of anything, I am simply noticing the relevance of a 27-step philosophy towards this end and the fact that Peace Corps is a 27-month endeavor.  And so, the next big thing for me is to use one step as my theme for each month that I am here.  This guarantees I write AND points my mind and thoughts in some direction...ultimately towards my inner Self.  Now since I have already been in Moldova for almost three months, I will have to post about those first three steps before September . The first four of these "techniques" as they are referred to in the book, are what they call Root Stresses, with the first three being:

1.  Praise
2.  Gratitude
3.  Love

You will know when I am posting about one of the 27 techniques because I will call the post "Technique #  ____".  Some of these will certainly be a little "out there" as I look ahead at techniques titled "Lunar" and "Glory" but it is my challenge to myself to find a way to make it all tie in to my life, your life, and ultimately to some Universal truth towards human happiness and peace of mind.  We're all in this together...so happy to have you along for the ride (Praise!), for this is am so GRATEFUL.   I LOVE you!

XOm,
Julie

Я еду в Бeлць!

In other words (well same words, different language...), "I am going to Balti!" (Transliteration: Ya edu v Beltz).  Now that is a hard word in general seeing that even though I 'spelled' it correctly, it's actually pronounced "Beltz".  

And so it is!  We got our site announcements yesterday.  I will be working with an organization called Pro Business Nord in the city of Balti.  I am very excited!  I think that being in an urban center will provide more opportunity to teach yoga than I might get in a village.  I will also get to meet many people and of course practice my Russian.

I can honestly say that it is times like these that the flexibility of yoga comes in handy.  I certainly never imagined that when I joined the Peace Corps I would find myself in an Eastern European city speaking Russian.  My nomination had been for the Caribbean.  I imagined myself on a warm island helping growers find better markets and prices for their produce and products.  I would sleep under a palm tree and eat mangoes for lunch.  But it was only an imagination and NOT an expectation.  And so I was never too let down.  The less we "expect" out of life, the less we suffer.  

I heard a swami say something very interesting shortly before I left for Moldova, "It is important to be 100% invested in all we do, and yet 0% dependant on the outcome".  This is a VERY difficult concept, espeically when applied to businesses, outcomes and financial "security".  But in LIFE, when we give up the need to be in control (an illusion anyway), and simply do our duty, whatever that may be (in the Carribean, in Balti, scrubbing floors, fixing things, starting businesses, ect.) without a dependence on the outcome of these activities to define who we are and what we are worth as humans, we suffer less.  When our worth comes from within, we are always whole.

Om tat sat.

Sugar and Spice: Don't Call Me Nice

I recently heard a song on the radio, and it went:


All my life I've been good but now,
I'm thinking 'What the hell'
All I want is to mess around,
and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me,
you can't save me, baby, baby


That last line very similar to a song I wrote while living at the ashram:
I know I can't leave this life with you by my side
We each have our own mountain to climb
I can guide you up yours and you guide me too
To the peak it will be where we find our own truth



There are two themes here:


1. Being good/nice
2. Being on our own



1. I am often regarded as being "too nice". This turns some off, annoys others and then attracts some like flies to honey (these fall into two categories-those bathing in the light of kindness and those taking full advantage of a soul who "looks on the bright side"...I deal with both on a daily basis). I don't think I am too nice-especially when I consider that I have dealt with a awful case of inborn guilt almost my entire life. If I thought I was always being sweet and nice, what would I have to feel guilty about? That wasn't it. Of course from the outside it looked that way. I am currently on the cusp of embarking on a difficult and life-changing challenge (more for another post) that involves some foreign travel and being surrounded by all new circumstance. I can remember being young and watching shows like The Real World in places like Paris and London and thinking, "I cannot believe how rude some of these people are/how ignorant to embracing a new culture/if I were there I would learn the language, be kind and open, blah blah blah." And that is why producers of a show would likely never pick someone like me to be on it!


Case in point: the people from the show The Apprentice came to my university my senior year, interviewing for the upcoming season. I thought, "What the hell?" and interviewed. Because of my domestic skills (babysitting, gardening) mixed with my keen business acumen (OK I made that up, but I sure made them think I was a biz whiz), I was asked to do a taped interview for the Apprentice: Martha Stewart. WELL...it went well and they said they would get back to me. About 3 months later, I got the call saying that they loved me, I'm great, but the final decision was that I am "just too nice" to be on the show. Uh-huh. Being nice, again, doesn't make for such great entertainment.


But I can't change who I am. And what came to me last night while I luxuriated in a warm salt bath is that it's not that I am nice. I think what it is, is that I am pretty happy. Sure, I have my ups, downs, confusions, "what the f@#k am I doing with my life?" times, but in general I was born joyous. And that spark of joy, though dimmed at times, remains luminous enough for others to see. And so am I nice? Sometimes. Am I happy? I am realizing that in my quest to wellness, my intense passions in natural foods, sustainable ways of living, doing business...my love of all things spiritual, yoga, meditation...in all of this there was always one underlying principle: the universal theme that I was looking to get to was always happiness. I know that peace of mind=happiness and so whatever can bring a human that peace in their hearts and minds, whatever can slow the spinning thoughts that cloud us from our inner luminosity, THAT is what I am looking to understand. So that I can share.



2. Now this takes me to how my song relates to the above Avril Lavigne song.



If you love me, if you hate me,
you can't save me, baby, baby


And I know I can't leave this life with you by my side
We each have our own mountain to climb



This is about the stark reality that NO ONE outside of ourselves is going to swoop in and make us happy. Nobody. Somebody. Anybody. NOPE. Just you. We each have our own truth to find. We will have many guides and teachers along the way. They show up in the forms of friends, enemies, family, lovers, spouses, swamis, preachers, bosses, the homeless man you pass on the street...are all our teachers. But it is up to each of us as individuals to BE happy. To BE grateful. No one, nothing, no circumstance, will ever be able to step in and do that for us. I am on a true quest for one thing: discovering the universal attributes to happiness. I already know that peace of mind is happiness. So now, it's all about how we obtain that peace of mind. I know this is what Yoga teaches. I am sure this is what many other philosophies and spiritual texts teach. What I want to discover, what comes up from the depths of my soul, is how we can spread this...for if each individual were happy, if companies functioned based on decisions that came out of joy rather than power, manipulation and coercion...what a whole new world we would find ourselves in.


So perhaps being nice doesn’t get you far. But being happy does.


Om tat sat.


XOm

Teens, Yoga and Desire

I teach an adult yoga class at a health club in a very affluent area. Many moms, dads and busy professionals arrive in their Beamers and Range Rovers with aspirations of getting fit. But when we think about the deeper desire that is being filled when we work our physical bodies, the true desire driving us to the health club, it's one for health/wealth. Swami Vishnudevananda says "Health is wealth". Without our physical health we really cannot enjoy much in this life. So taking care of our bodies is key.

Yesterday, I was elated when my newer class, Teen Yoga, was filled up with 18 students!!! The club has made an effort to offer teen classes so that families can take advantage of the club together. Kids can go to karate class or the babysitting area and teens can take various classes created just for them and on Wednesdays it's Yoga with yours truly. There are usually about 6-10 students, all girls. But yesterday 18 of them arrived all giggly and chatty...and 2 were boys! Word is spreading. That it feels GOOD to take care of ourselves. I know that I am dealing with a generation who is playing lots of video games and does most of their socializing via Facebook. Attention spans are short. But by the end of class they were quiet, focused, and in final relaxation->some asleep! There is no question that our souls are CRYING OUT for a break from the constant onslaught of media and pressures we face in each given day.

Said health club has now even delved into new territory by offering a meditation workshop! I am leading this also and last week 8 people showed up. What drives us to workshops like this is what I consider the other most noble of 'desires': happiness/peace of mind. Swamiji says, "Peace of mind is happiness". We are fooled into thinking that who we know, what we do, and how much we own is what will make us happy. But our inner guidance and truth knows better. This voice leads us to meditation classes, therapists and healers of all types. I LOVE to see the busy people taking the time to work out, sit still, and love themselves. If the workshop does well these 2 weeks (we are offering at holiday time for stress-reduction), it may become a regular class. Fingers crossed. I would love to even see a Teen Meditation class!

This all reminds me of a popular story Swami Vishnu told: that of how to attain world peace. He explained that like a cloth made of cotton, if we were to change it to one of silk, we would need to replace each and every thread, one by one. And likewise, in our world, we will only attain global peace when each and every individual finds peace within.

Om shanti. Om peace.