I'm Faking Everything

My track record is improving.  Only about 3 months between posts this time! Not much change since my last sharing to be honest. Of course the thoughts are there: the "whys", the "hows", the too much thinking...

One of my guilty pleasures and weekly ways to turn off the chatter box in my head is the HBO show, "Girls". It's not particularly compelling, and many of the characters annoy the heck out of me...but there is something to the hum-drum narcissism of the characters that is so... familiar. I know I am not alone in this, because millions of other people watch the show for a reason. It's a generational thing perhaps. How we all experience our lives as though we are the main character of an elaborate, long, drawn out film, (or Instagram stream).

I bring up the show because on the last episode I watched, two quick quotes poured out of two characters at the very end of the episode, that I found quite profound. And so today I want to think about and explore what it was in those two phrases that stirred me up.

Phrase one...
Was shared by the unpredictable, borderline sociopath, Jessa. As she strolls down the street smoking a cigarette, discussing the man who just dumped her for his ex, she ponders what she saw in him. She says that he moved so fast he didn't let her think. "I don't do well when I think," is how she put it.

Do you ever wonder if you're overthinking things? I know for sure I do. It's exhausting. It's the reason I sought out yoga and meditation in the first place. While studying with wonderful teachers during my stint at the ashram, we talked a lot about how we can't really control what we think. We have very, very little control over the thoughts that pop into our heads actually. So that's the good news. We don't have to feel terrible when (and this was the teacher's example), we hear a loved one died and think, "I wonder what they left me?" That thought came from left field and you have a million other thoughts flooding in as well, like, "What will I do without this person in my life?"and "Did they die peacefully?" and "How is so-and-so doing?"

But of course that ONE thought, the one that you shouldn't think, will probably bother you. But again, we don't have much control over what we think. Where we gain control is in how much attention we give to a thought. The more time and energy spent on a thought, the more the thought grows and gains power. And the more likely we will be to have that thought again and again.

A great and common example of this would be a thought that arises at some point in everyone's life, "I am not good enough". There are plenty of teachers that show us how to work through these kinds of thoughts. Ask the questions: "Is it true? Can I be 100% it's true? What's the evidence" etc. This is all good for examination. The problem is that we can usually find plenty of evidence that we're not good enough and this thought can become a habit and part of who we are and how we present ourselves to the world. It will prevent relationships, careers, and happiness. See how tricky that is? Our thoughts create our reality and so Jessa was spot on...we often don't do well when we think.

You can explore much more about thought power and the mechanics of the mind, which I wrote about in-depth a few years back. Essentially, we probably all do better when we don't think so much, and it takes training to be able to have some semblance of control over the power of our thoughts and how they help us/hurt us in this world. But there ARE methods to sort this out, they just take time and effort, like everything else in life worth attaining.


Phrase two...
Was shared by the show's main character, the naive and narcissistic Hannah, who has just left grad school, started substitute teaching (after her thus far short-lived but successful career as a writer), found out her dad is gay, and that her best friend is engaged. A man who was in love with aforementioned friend quips, "I'm so happy for her", to which Hannah responds, "I'm so happy for everyone", as she stares off into space. Her friend quickly retorts flatly, "I'm faking it", to which, without a beat, Hannah says, "I'm faking everything." This is how the episode ends.

Ok so maybe I totally resonate with Hannah. Do you? Do we all? I have no idea. What I do know is that the more time I spend on things like Facebook, and Instagram and see both people I know and people I don't know, living these seemingly amazing lives full of fun, laughter, smiles, new clothes, new kitchens, vacations, flowers, gifts, yoga classes and...well you get what I'm saying...the worse I feel about my own seemingly lacking life. The comparison game is a slippery slope but rather impossible not to fall into in today's "show off" world.

I mean, let's get real. People have always been show-offs, braggers. But it was only their closest friends, family, and colleagues who would likely have to deal with it. Now, we willingly peak in on what every odd person we happened to meet long enough to become "Facebook friends" with, and get to see their life highlights. "Well geez, they're all better than mine", says the ego. My goodness just writing this last sentence has made me question my own sanity in spending ANY time on these sites.

I like how Maddi Fieleke shares in her blog post:

I’M NOT A LIAR BUT FACEBOOK SURE IS.

Yeah..

Anyway, this post has not been entirely uplifting or insightful, but a true rambling of observation. I know there has been been plenty of talk and research on the negative effects of continuous social sharing, and I am sure there are probably plenty of arguments for the positive effects too. For me, I have become very hesitant to share much online anymore. I know I could probably portray that I have some freaking awesome life by how I frame it all, but I'd feel like a liar. I feel myself withdrawing from that sharing. And I know thousands of others are too. 

Got to love our massive societal shifts! It was obviously an evolutionary step to over-share en-masse and I suspect there will be a return to modesty, simplicity, and humility. That's why I started this blog in the first place ;)

OM!

Ascension...Come Again?

OK, I am going there.  I am reading and writing about a document called "Ascension" so now I should probably address...what the heck is this Ascension I speak of.  And hold on tight because it's going to be a little bit of a far out ride for some :)  Which I, of course, just love that you're reading this!  Thank you!

All spiritual traditions, in all of times, have spoken of some ultimate goal. It has been called Enlightenment, Self Realization, God Realization, Nirvana, Bliss, Cosmic Consciousness, Christ Consciousness, Awakening the Kundalini etc. Currently, the term 'Ascension' seems to be emerging as a popular term in reference to this goal. Here is a short listing of different interpretations of said goal: 

1. The evolution of the individual, and the collective evolution of humanity...each soul's and humanity's destiny.
2. A level of consciousness in which we experience permanent union with our Higher Self ..oneness with all Life.  (Union....like the "yoke" definition of yoga)
3. Becoming our highest possible Self... Learning to fully express our creative powers and spiritual capabilities within the challenging conditions of physical reality.
4. Raising our vibration to a higher frequency...closer to that of the light of Spirit. (As opposed to lower vibration frequencies like lust, greed, hate, envy, ect.)
5. A state of permanent peace, joy, and freedom from limitation and suffering.
6. Expanding the role we are playing within an ever‑unfolding universal drama (beyond our current ability to comprehend).

Since stumbling across this document (on Twitter of all places) and taking on the task of covering what the Ishayas call the “27 Techniques to Ascension”, I have begun quite a quest into the world of Ascension. What it is, what it isn’t, how it relates to 2012, to Jesus Christ, to the New Age movement, to Yoga. And what I have found is at one point wide and at another quite narrow. And since this is a simple blog and not a scholarly report, I can’t possibly go into the detail and explanations I might want to…we can do that over a cup of tea sometime.  You see, there is mythology from across time and space that tells the same tales again and again, just using different language. Some of this "mythology” is deeply intertwined with many of today’s most popular religions. As I have read most recently about the Greek Sophia, I have realized she is the same as the Yoga's Shakti. Same stories, different time, different culture…or was it?

Do we really have such a multitude of “cultures” or is this something the human mind has used as a way to establish its own ego? “I am a part of this group. We do this, eat that and speak this way.” Unity in division?  

What if I were to propose that there is only one culture, the human culture? It turns out we have a lot more in common than we have in difference. Because if we have the same stories of (and I am largely generalizing here for simplicity sake) Creator/God/Brahman whose extraordinary light descends due to some sort of passion/desire/sin and creates the world/Shakti/Sophia/Gaia, and then we, being sparks of God (having souls that is), are here in Shaktiland, but remember Creatorland (the place of complete love, nonsuffering we first came from) on some level and desperately desire to return. But those desires get mixed up and crazy in Shaktiland and instead we figure we really just want an empire, a yacht, a diamond, some sex, political power, a cigarette, a film…and on and on. But the yearning never ceases. And soooooo…(drum roll please)…Creator, through compassion, sends some pretty darn (or so it would seem) clear messages down to good old Earth, to remind the people, that there IS actually a way to rejoin Creator/Immaterial for all of eternity AKA no more suffering and no need for death. And so comes Buddha/Jesus/Krishna/Siva…messages. These messages pretty much say, “Hey people, listen up, love yourself because you are perfect. Then love your fellow human, they are perfect too. Stop being afraid, that is crap. There is no need for fear. It’s actually ruining everyone’s time here. Drop it! Get to loving. It’s the only way. Drop the BS of jealousy, greed, envy, hate ect. and accept who you are, what you are and BINGO… you’ve got ACSENSION."  That's right...heaven on Earth, Earth in heaven...however you like it!!

There you have it my friends. There are a bazillion ways towards Ascension, techniques. There are religions. There is yoga and meditation. There is radical acceptance. Whichever path you choose is cool...AND...last but not least....It's being touted in many circles (from the hippy dippies to the Mayan calendar to the economic crisis) that Earth and humanity are currently going through an extraordinary consciousness shift...a quantum leap to a higher, more enlightened state of being (think quantum physics...particles vibrating at an ever-increasing rate).  It is believed that you can choose to go with the flow of this evolutionary current ‑ thus facilitating your ascension process ‑ by preparing yourself for a new and higher level of consciousness. If you choose to do so, here are some tips to assist you! 

1. Connect with your inner knowing daily...in silent meditation or prayer.
2. Be Light. Remember as often as you can throughout the day (when your mind is not fully engaged, drifting) to shift your attention back to the light of your calm true Self.
3. Develop some degree of spiritual non‑attachment. The more weight you give the world, the heavier it is to carry.
4. Strengthen your "energy circulatory system", so that you can conduct higher spiritual energies (AKA prana). This can be done through regular exercise, physical work, or energy body exercises, such as Yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, etc.
5. Learn to attune to your higher guidance.  Think with your heart.

  Om tat sat.  Love and light.  XOm.

Big Sky Delight: Solstice, Eclipse, Full Moon Oh My!

There is some stuff going on celestially-no doubt. We have many interesting alignments: Winter Solstice, Full Moon, Lunar Eclipse. It's VERY rare to have three strong aspects in one night. This I know. The implications? That I don't. I am by no means an astronomer nor astrologer but I am fascinated by it all. So I have taken on the task of trying to make some sense of what this could all mean for us as we close out 201o and prepare for a new year. I broke down my research into the three aspects and will do my best to share what I think is happening. All I know is that when I was living at the ashram, Swami Sita would keep us in check with any strange happenings celestially (sometimes through decisions regarding when to hold classes ect. not by telling us anyting), like when NASA was bombing the moon back in October 2009...apparently there was a really strange alignment that signified some violence with moon energy!

So first we look at the solstice. The Winter for the northern hemisphere and Summer for the southern. Since I am in the northern and so are most of you, I will focus on that. It seems that many a profound insight can spring from the dark. We are currently in our darkest time of the year given the amount of sunlight vs. darkness. And when we would normally have a nice bright moon to lighten up THE darkest 24 hours...it is blocked. Think about it. Well back to solstice; we begin to get more light each day leading us to Spring. So symbolically, I see it as a time when we can collect all that we have experienced over the past year and really digest it. Pass off what doesn't need to sit with you any longer and open up to the new, using what you have learned. This is the light.

And this leads us to the Lunar Eclipse. Seen at exactly 3:17AM EST and 12:17AM PST (tonight/tomorrow), this rare alignment with the Solstice has not been seen in centuries!!! A full lunar eclipse only occurs when there is a full moon. The Earth gets between the Sun and Moon and blocks the Sun's light (power, heat) from bouncing off of the Moon (receptivity, cooling). When this happens we can tend to feel closed off and heated up...I think. I mean that it what makes sense to me. Eclipses are also known to be harbingers of change. Feelings or desire of a need for change may feel pressing and urgent at this time. With the solstice/eclipse combo I think it leads to a lot of CHANGE and LETTING GO.

And lastly, we have the aspect of the Full Moon. It is in Gemini/Sagittarius so apparently this means it's time to realize the power of our inner thoughts and desires and to perhaps re-evaluate where we have been and on what path we traverse. REALIGN AS-NEEDED! That being said, there is some advice to heed regarding how best to go about doing so. On the Gemini side of things, we find an emphasis on how we learn. I think this connects to us digesting what we take in (or casting off what we don't want to) which either expands or limits our range of effectiveness concurrently. We need to be sharing and taking in information in a way that doesn't choke the network but invites joy and exciting change. How do we do this? We stay focused and confident. And on the Sagittarius side of things, this will be an important time to check in and see how you stand with you. It's also important to make sure to have enough information so as choices we make right now are not short of the mark. If it feels like you don't know enough to make a decision right now-->wait. Keep hunting and be continually wise, changing when the input changes.

In summary (and if this seems like just a whole bunch of STUFF...trust me it was just has hard to rake through the dozens of sites I read, each having different times, outlooks and information), it seems the main themes and advice for this powerful time of transformation are:

1. Reflect on what you have learned this year, digest what you want, cast off the rest.

2. Stay positive and focused. Be confident in your path or make changes as needed. (Only when you feel you know enough to make the decisions necessargy for change).

3. Transmute any 'closed-off' or 'heated' feelings into powerful new opportunities. Listen to what your heart is saying (not your head). *Note: wearing pearls can help with this.

4. Make sure you are good with YOU.

5. Be sure to share with others what you have learned in a way that invites joy rather than creating blocks. Commune.

It would probably be a very good idea to work on being in control of your thoughts today and tomorrow and keep them focused on what it is you would like to see traspire in your life. No better time to meditate than now.

Om shanti shanti shanti!!! Have an amazing solstice/eclipse/full moon...get outside and see it, feel it and shape your life.

It's Cookie Time!

Oh tasty morsels~nectar for the soul! I am attending a cookie-exchange party tonight and decided to bake up a delicious egg-free cookie that is as easy as it is scrumptious. It's also pretty low in sugar which is a plus! I try to make a lot of my baked-good recipes without eggs. This is for two reasons: first being that if I want to adapt/develop a recipe into a vegan version, it's important to understand how to substitute for eggs correctly. And second, the Yogic Diet, which I specialize in, does not include eggs. So while butter, milk, yogurt and a little cheese are considered OK, eggs do not fit the bill in the diet for the mind. The Yogic Diet is intended to not only keep the body in tip-top health, but also to keep the mind at even-keel. Food that can tend to either lower thought-vibrations (eggs, mushrooms, and rotten or over-ripe foods) or over-excite thoughts (onions, garlic, processed foods, caffeine, under-ripe and stale foods) are avoided so that it becomes easier to meditate. Interesting huh? I will be writing more about the 'energetics of food' as it's an area of great interest for me.

Here is the simple cookie recipe to try. Matched up with a nice cup of cocoa, tea or milk, will surely be a crowd-pleaser. I bet Santa would even really like these ;)

Basic Pecan Shortbread
Prep 45 min Chill 2hrs
Bake 10 min Oven 350

½ cup raw sugar
½ tsp. flaky sea salt
2/3 cup organic pecan pieces
16 Tbsp. organic unsalted butter, slightly soft
2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 cups unbleached, unenriched flour (I plan to experiment with spelt, kamut, and GF flours too)
6 oz. white or dark chocolate

1. Pulse sugar and salt in dry bowl of food processor until fine and powdery. Add pecans; pulse until finely ground. Add butter in large chunks and vanilla. Pulse until butter is smooth. Add flour; pulse until forms soft dough. Transfer to bowl and knead briefly to even out mix.
2. Form a rectangle log about 12 inches long of dough. Wrap in wax paper. Refrigerate 2 hours or overnight.
3. Preheat oven to 350. Cut log into slices ¼ inch thick. Place at least one inch apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes until edges are golden.
4. Wait until cookies are nice and cool. Melt chocolate and drizzle over cookies.

*You can really top the cookies with whatever you like, or enjoy them plain. In the 3rd picture above, I topped some with a white chocolate frosting and coconut so they look like snow...and I love any excuse to use coconut:)

And an update on the Goat's Milk stuff. I have been having bits and morsels of goat cheese and yogurt and lo and behold, my body seems pretty cool with it. The bottom picture is my current favorite way to enjoy a little raw goat cheese: I toast a piece of Ezekial Cinnamon Raisin bread (this is a sprouted grain bread). Slice up some raw goat cheese (you could also spread some Chevre), top with walnuts and drizzle with honey. Pair with a warm cup of tea and DELISH! Amazing breakfast or snack.

Om shanti & Enjoy!

Teens, Yoga and Desire

I teach an adult yoga class at a health club in a very affluent area. Many moms, dads and busy professionals arrive in their Beamers and Range Rovers with aspirations of getting fit. But when we think about the deeper desire that is being filled when we work our physical bodies, the true desire driving us to the health club, it's one for health/wealth. Swami Vishnudevananda says "Health is wealth". Without our physical health we really cannot enjoy much in this life. So taking care of our bodies is key.

Yesterday, I was elated when my newer class, Teen Yoga, was filled up with 18 students!!! The club has made an effort to offer teen classes so that families can take advantage of the club together. Kids can go to karate class or the babysitting area and teens can take various classes created just for them and on Wednesdays it's Yoga with yours truly. There are usually about 6-10 students, all girls. But yesterday 18 of them arrived all giggly and chatty...and 2 were boys! Word is spreading. That it feels GOOD to take care of ourselves. I know that I am dealing with a generation who is playing lots of video games and does most of their socializing via Facebook. Attention spans are short. But by the end of class they were quiet, focused, and in final relaxation->some asleep! There is no question that our souls are CRYING OUT for a break from the constant onslaught of media and pressures we face in each given day.

Said health club has now even delved into new territory by offering a meditation workshop! I am leading this also and last week 8 people showed up. What drives us to workshops like this is what I consider the other most noble of 'desires': happiness/peace of mind. Swamiji says, "Peace of mind is happiness". We are fooled into thinking that who we know, what we do, and how much we own is what will make us happy. But our inner guidance and truth knows better. This voice leads us to meditation classes, therapists and healers of all types. I LOVE to see the busy people taking the time to work out, sit still, and love themselves. If the workshop does well these 2 weeks (we are offering at holiday time for stress-reduction), it may become a regular class. Fingers crossed. I would love to even see a Teen Meditation class!

This all reminds me of a popular story Swami Vishnu told: that of how to attain world peace. He explained that like a cloth made of cotton, if we were to change it to one of silk, we would need to replace each and every thread, one by one. And likewise, in our world, we will only attain global peace when each and every individual finds peace within.

Om shanti. Om peace.

Monday Meditation: Peace in the Pew

I went to church yesterday with my mom. It's the church that I attended growing up. It's a nice church. Nice people, pretty building, talented ministers. I did find the services boring at certain points in my life, most likely because I was being forced to attend against my will. One can imagine that a teenager would much rather be in bed at 9AM on a Sunday morning than sitting on a hard pew listening to parables and announcements usually regarding things furthest from said teenager's mind. But yesterday was different. As was the time I attended this same church a few weeks earlier on my own. And here is why (other than that I haven't been a teenager in 10 years!):

I spent 7 months waking up at 5:30AM to sit for half and hour in silence to meditate. I filled two journals in that time with insights and wisdom that would surely only come to me in those dark and quiet moments. And while I have not been able to maintain a self-discipline to sit myself down for half an hour each morning since I have departed the community and structure that an ashram brings, I am discovering a few tricks. And one is church.

Because I would never describe myself as religious, I do believe this would work in almost any center for spiritual communion, not necessarily only in a Presbyterian church. But what happens during the service is simply this-you can't get up and leave. I mean you could if you really wanted or needed to but in essence you are committed to being somewhat still and present for about an hour. And within that hour there is some standing, some singing, some messages from the Bible, as well as some moments for prayer-both led and silent. Aside from the standing aspect, this is not too different from Satsang at the ashram! Sit still, quiet the mind, empty your 'self' and your 'Self'/God just may swoop in with some answers. Of course I believe those 'answers' are always there, we just can't really hear them through all of our over-analytical, frenzied thinking. And on this particular Sunday, having spent the previous afternoon at a bookstore reading many of the political and social journals and magazines, my mind took me here in the midst of the silence:

NOTE: This is verbatim, written on a small orange notepad my mom was miraculously carrying around with her. I now know to bring my journal to church. Also note that the minister's message for the morning was about the prophet Jeremiah, who was incredibly unpopular for the prophecies he would bring to the people-so much so he was eventaully thrown in jail. I suppose we have a long history of those who cry for change being belittled and hated, even when what they bring is TRUTH. (Especially then). This is my truth and I share:

I am choosing in this first statement to focus only on idealism and optimism when looking at our nation: We have done wondrous things in a mere 300 years. We have created infrastructure like no other in size, breadth and effectiveness. Our achievements are many and they are grand.

Now, I add the realist tilt, the view that is gaining popularity but still will never be a delivery of 'good news' in conventional circles. Was this great building of cities and infrastructure done with mindfulness? No. Was is done with greed, with the mind on the fiscal progress of the few and the feeble benefit or poeverty of many? Yes.

I do happen to believe that everyone does their best. Meaning that in a given situation, humans will, with their frame of reference in that moment, make the best decision they can at that time. And so I don't shed blame. It is clear that the best that could be done with our collective frames of reference was done. And now? Now we see the error of our way. We do need to feel a sense of pride in our progress in the sense of technology and discovery, but also an even greater sense of calling to repair the wounds that have resulted in our haste.

The prescriptions of consumerism and capitalism to heal the wounded American/Human spirit, have proven to have disastrous side-effects. And rather than to continue on this unsustainable 'pharm-cycle' of a pill-for-an-ill, the time has come to address the cause of the disease rather than simply treating the symptoms. We are killing our environment and its inhabitants with the weapon of human greed. How do we heal this? What is the right prescription? (Grassroots, grow-your-own...the people need to WANT to stop buying crap...)

Om tat sat.