I'm Faking Everything

My track record is improving.  Only about 3 months between posts this time! Not much change since my last sharing to be honest. Of course the thoughts are there: the "whys", the "hows", the too much thinking...

One of my guilty pleasures and weekly ways to turn off the chatter box in my head is the HBO show, "Girls". It's not particularly compelling, and many of the characters annoy the heck out of me...but there is something to the hum-drum narcissism of the characters that is so... familiar. I know I am not alone in this, because millions of other people watch the show for a reason. It's a generational thing perhaps. How we all experience our lives as though we are the main character of an elaborate, long, drawn out film, (or Instagram stream).

I bring up the show because on the last episode I watched, two quick quotes poured out of two characters at the very end of the episode, that I found quite profound. And so today I want to think about and explore what it was in those two phrases that stirred me up.

Phrase one...
Was shared by the unpredictable, borderline sociopath, Jessa. As she strolls down the street smoking a cigarette, discussing the man who just dumped her for his ex, she ponders what she saw in him. She says that he moved so fast he didn't let her think. "I don't do well when I think," is how she put it.

Do you ever wonder if you're overthinking things? I know for sure I do. It's exhausting. It's the reason I sought out yoga and meditation in the first place. While studying with wonderful teachers during my stint at the ashram, we talked a lot about how we can't really control what we think. We have very, very little control over the thoughts that pop into our heads actually. So that's the good news. We don't have to feel terrible when (and this was the teacher's example), we hear a loved one died and think, "I wonder what they left me?" That thought came from left field and you have a million other thoughts flooding in as well, like, "What will I do without this person in my life?"and "Did they die peacefully?" and "How is so-and-so doing?"

But of course that ONE thought, the one that you shouldn't think, will probably bother you. But again, we don't have much control over what we think. Where we gain control is in how much attention we give to a thought. The more time and energy spent on a thought, the more the thought grows and gains power. And the more likely we will be to have that thought again and again.

A great and common example of this would be a thought that arises at some point in everyone's life, "I am not good enough". There are plenty of teachers that show us how to work through these kinds of thoughts. Ask the questions: "Is it true? Can I be 100% it's true? What's the evidence" etc. This is all good for examination. The problem is that we can usually find plenty of evidence that we're not good enough and this thought can become a habit and part of who we are and how we present ourselves to the world. It will prevent relationships, careers, and happiness. See how tricky that is? Our thoughts create our reality and so Jessa was spot on...we often don't do well when we think.

You can explore much more about thought power and the mechanics of the mind, which I wrote about in-depth a few years back. Essentially, we probably all do better when we don't think so much, and it takes training to be able to have some semblance of control over the power of our thoughts and how they help us/hurt us in this world. But there ARE methods to sort this out, they just take time and effort, like everything else in life worth attaining.


Phrase two...
Was shared by the show's main character, the naive and narcissistic Hannah, who has just left grad school, started substitute teaching (after her thus far short-lived but successful career as a writer), found out her dad is gay, and that her best friend is engaged. A man who was in love with aforementioned friend quips, "I'm so happy for her", to which Hannah responds, "I'm so happy for everyone", as she stares off into space. Her friend quickly retorts flatly, "I'm faking it", to which, without a beat, Hannah says, "I'm faking everything." This is how the episode ends.

Ok so maybe I totally resonate with Hannah. Do you? Do we all? I have no idea. What I do know is that the more time I spend on things like Facebook, and Instagram and see both people I know and people I don't know, living these seemingly amazing lives full of fun, laughter, smiles, new clothes, new kitchens, vacations, flowers, gifts, yoga classes and...well you get what I'm saying...the worse I feel about my own seemingly lacking life. The comparison game is a slippery slope but rather impossible not to fall into in today's "show off" world.

I mean, let's get real. People have always been show-offs, braggers. But it was only their closest friends, family, and colleagues who would likely have to deal with it. Now, we willingly peak in on what every odd person we happened to meet long enough to become "Facebook friends" with, and get to see their life highlights. "Well geez, they're all better than mine", says the ego. My goodness just writing this last sentence has made me question my own sanity in spending ANY time on these sites.

I like how Maddi Fieleke shares in her blog post:

I’M NOT A LIAR BUT FACEBOOK SURE IS.

Yeah..

Anyway, this post has not been entirely uplifting or insightful, but a true rambling of observation. I know there has been been plenty of talk and research on the negative effects of continuous social sharing, and I am sure there are probably plenty of arguments for the positive effects too. For me, I have become very hesitant to share much online anymore. I know I could probably portray that I have some freaking awesome life by how I frame it all, but I'd feel like a liar. I feel myself withdrawing from that sharing. And I know thousands of others are too. 

Got to love our massive societal shifts! It was obviously an evolutionary step to over-share en-masse and I suspect there will be a return to modesty, simplicity, and humility. That's why I started this blog in the first place ;)

OM!

Technique 8: PEACE! (Or, Second Chances)

Swami Vishnudevananda, who started the ashram where I did my yoga teacher training, had a famous saying, "Health is Wealth, Peace of Mind is Happiness".  When I first heard those words, I knew I had found myself in the right place.  I have always been on the trail for how to feel the best in my body and in my life.  I could remember being very young and having so much energy that people would have to literally hold me down.  And then I got mono at age 13.  I haven't physically been the same since really.  So it's been a quest for that true wealth I remembered feeling as a vibrant and clear human.  Now I can reflect and say that being hit with an immune-crushing case of mono was something, but it was also that age: 13.  I was just getting into the tough social stuff at school.  My energy was not only crushed by a virus, but by what I was learning about the world around me.  It was hard for me to digest.  And still is...

And so good digestion, high energy, clarity of mind and spirit- have been my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  I chase them, and their attainment is the wealth I hope to accumulate.  I get distracted of course.  I have been quite distracted here on my Peace Corps adventure to be honest.  The desire to be comfortable with the new places and faces around me, led me straight into some bad habits.  And my body has rebelled.  I am lucky that I am as sensitive as I am; that I have probably caught whatever damage is happening to my digestive tract early-on.  But as someone who has studied nutrition and holistic living, it was startling to myself how far off track I could go! (Long story-short:  cookies, chocolate, coffee and wine became a norm rather than a treat)  Thank God for second chances!  I woke up today realizing it is February 1st.  This post, Technique #8, was supposed to be January's.  And the one I posted in January was supposed to be December's...there is a pattern here!  And this pattern is really messing with my peace of mind.  But today is a whole new month, a whole new beginning.  Every day we wake up, we have the choice to have a new beginning!


Peace.  According to Merriam-Webster, peace is the freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.  We can apply this meaning to any number of areas:  peace on earth, peace in the Middle East, peace within a family, peace between enemies.  But the peace the I found myself so very interested in, was the peace the Swami Vishnu spoke of, peace of mind.  Ah, that sounds PERFECT.  That sounds like exactly what I want more than anything on earth.  Lovers, cars, money, jobs, fashion, status?  UMMMM....NO.  I want PEACE OF MIND.  Oh but wait, I want those other things a bit too...hmmm....(and here we go, watch how this works, dialog with self):

Oh my gosh, all I want is to feel at peace with all, especially with myself!
Really, I can just imagine, no disturbing thoughts, no negativity towards anyone....
Oh wait, didn't I just read that so-and-so is now designing clothes?
Hmmm...if I had just followed my dreams to work in fashion I would be using this pent-up creativity...I would be surrounded by beauty and color and making money and ......
Wait...Ah, that thought is hurting me!  I feel it in my stomach like a weird nervous pain.
OK-wait, peace, I want peace.
But wait, if I had a dream job and money and a husband and 2.5 kids, a house on the beach, oh and one in the mountains...wouldn't I have lack for want and wouldn't I THEN be peaceful?
(Some deep-seated, soft, knowing voice):  Nooooooooo
Oh right, I can choose to be peaceful now, can't I?  Dope!  


Does this sound familiar to anyone?  What is crazy is that that exact conversation can occur in one's thoughts over the course of maybe 30 seconds.  Can you imagine just how many thoughts are running through our minds daily?  Disturbing us?

The Eighth Technique establishes Peace with all of relative creation, thereby further stabilizing harmlessness. It also has the effect of confirming the most important relationship of the individual with the Source of All that Is: the limited self surrenders to the Infinite.


Two main ideas jump  out to me as I read this description from the document:
1.  further stabilizing- a stable sense of Self, a stable state of mind.  A lack of fluctuations of thoughts from one extreme to another, will indeed bring about peace.  The less excited and reactive our thoughts, the more HAPPY we will feel.

2.  the limited self surrenders- Surrender is a tricky thing.  As opposed to simply "giving up", we accept that there are things in this world we cannot understand.  We accept our placement, our position, our circumstances that cannot be changed and we live in grace.
-----
The truth is, we are living in a time when finding true peace of mind is very difficult.  In the ancient yoga traditions, this is the time of the Kali Yuga, a time of darkness.  And while we have so much intellect being sparked here on earth, as seen through the inventions and accelerated evolution of technology, the darkness refers to our ability to see into our selves, to understand our true nature (aka spirituality).  We are exposed to an increasing amount of information each day, and we have to first develop our discernment in order to know what to allow in, and what to block out.  But that takes time, patience and a person who wants to cut through the clutter more than they want to win, to own, or to prove.  I don't find it impossible for there to be peace on earth one day.  But I do find that this will first require each and every individual on earth to first find peace within themselves.  And this...this will take time.  Just remember...every day is a second chance, every day we can choose to move towards PEACE.


Om shanti.  Om tat sat.

What NOT to Buy this Holiday Season: A Mindful Guide to Gifting

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched... but are felt in the heart.

Helen Keller

1.  A bunch of crap poorly made and cheaply priced, just so you have something to hand to someone.  Sorry, but our landfills, air quality, cheap (abused) labor force, and henceforth humankind's ability to remain on Earth, cannot afford it.  Don't believe me?  Watch The Story of Stuff, they can explain it much better!

2.  A bunch of really expensive crap (for example clothing from over-priced retailers making a killing on our desire to be perceived as someone "special enough" to wear their labels), that falls into the same category as above while also playing on your ego's sensitivity.  Double uh-oh!  The truth is you and your loved ones are much too fabulous to be prancing around sporting such non-original stuff that fills the pockets of few.

3.  A gift just to buy a gift.  Think about the person receiving your thoughts-because honestly that is what will touch their heart most dearly.  Your physical gift begins with a thought.  And since thoughts have power,  your thought of the person should be reflected in a gift.  So you despise your boss; this doesn't mean a gift card to Big Box Generic Crap Store will do. It's your boss you don't like, not the whole planet!  Have some compassion for this person and think about what they truly love, what lights them up.  Perhaps he/she plays golf, (you know just to be really stereotypical).  Is there a specialty golf shop around?  Say, owned by a member of your community?  Even better.  Go there, spend your money in your community and get a unique item that says, "I understand what you value, while also valuing our community and the planet."  Triple awesomeness!

So now that I think I have painted a picture about what NOT to give, let's take a look at some awesome gift ideas!

1.  Make a donation to a cause the person is passionate about.  Many organizations will offer some sort of holiday perk with these donations.  Or you can match up your donation with something small to put under the tree.  Aunt Sally is passionate about Womens' Rights?  Donate to Women for Women International and head to a local woman-owned shop and support her business with a small and thoughtful purchase.  Be sure to share with her your gift idea, you never know, the power of suggestion is strong and she just might spread the word!  And if you aren't sure where a person's passions lie, you can always give a gift certificate so they can pick the charity of thier choice. Go to Just Give where you can purchase a gift certificate for any amount.

2.  Purchase an item from a social enterprise, such as Toms Shoes or Roma Boots.  These companies will both donate a pair of footwear to a child in need, with each pair that you purchase.  There was recently a Roma Boot drop here in Moldova, coordinated by a  group of Peace Corps Volunteers.  I got to see many pictures of just how touched these children and their families were to receive the gift of warm, dry feet. 

3.  Visit a shop that specializes in "commerce with a conscience" such as 10,000 Villages.  What does this mean?  From their website:  "They market products from handicraft and agricultural organizations based in low-income countries, providing consumers with products that have been fairly purchased from sustainable sources."  Explain this fact to the gift recipient or include a card about the shop so that they can further appreciate the concept.  10,000 Villages has retail stores as well as alliance stores throughout the U.S. and Canada as well as their beautiful online shop.

4.  Make a trip to your local flea market/farmers market/artist co-op.  You get the idea.  Buy something beautiful and unique that jives perfectly with your loved one's style while also supporting the arts in your community.  Whether it is baked goods, jewelry, paintings, knits, bamboo cutting boards or fun vintage items, you are sure to find something that perfectly suits your need to express that  you understand your loved one's style and listen to what they value.  Can't find something you like there?  Browse the online version, Etsy, where you will be sure to find something fabulous.  Just make sure you have time for shipping!  (There is still time now!)

5.  Make it yourself!  Are you crafty?  No need to purchase product if you already know how to make them yourself!  Save money by putting your own talents to use.  You not only pass on a gift, but a piece of your self.  This is ultimate generosity.

And remember, there is no gift more impressive, than one that respects the receiver, the giver, and the community surrounding both.  Give from your heart and you will know exactly how to light up your loved ones! 

Happy Gifting!!!  XOm.

Technique 5: Solar (or 5 Perspectives on Free Will & Desire)

In developing my approach to the Solar technique, I found myself immersed in a LOT of information. The explanation from the Ascension manual was a bit out there even for me, leaving me with a wide angle:

The result of the Solar Ascension Attitude is to begin to awaken the highest function of human consciousness. Mastery of the Solar Technique gives complete knowledge of each of these severally and individually. It is also a powerful tool for the development of the highest degree of human enlightenment, Unity Consciousness. Mastery of the Solar connection opens one to the Causal Worlds; upon death, this is where one goes. This is called the Path of the Sages.

I had expected something more along the lines of what I understand of SOLAR: the will, power, vitality, masculine, yang, the basic drive for significance, psychic and physical energy, stamina, rulers and authority figures, individuality.

And so I have attempted to reconcile what I extracted from the document with my own research, analysis and experience around the Solar force in our lives.  (And using my own SOLAR power-my will to do such!) Specifically, I want to focus on one's will.

In Hatha yoga, the "Ha" stands for Sun and the "Tha" for Moon. You can also say it stands for Yin/Ying, Masculine/Feminine, Force/Surrender, Right/Left. It is all the same idea of a balance between two opposing forces.   I was particularly intrigued by this topic after a recent conversation with a friend where I told him that I was still waiting to hear back from a group I wanted to work with. It went something like this:

friend: you know whatever happens is what needed to happen

me: exactly

friend: wait, wtf, i don't believe in that sentence

me: oh shut up

friend: seriously i don't- you know that right?

me: so what's your take? not that we are exactly where we need to be? of course we have free will and we can always change it up. it's the fine balance between surrender/acceptance and force/will...so I believe in both I suppose

friend: i'll tell you what-i believe you shape your world, don't wait for an answer, make it happen instead

me: like I said, I think it's a balance between shaping and surrender and the wisdom comes in when to do which

friend: i'm more of the 2nd part, pushing your future into your hands

me: lol-so what happens when you don't get what you pushed for?

friend: i push harder. it usually works very good

me: I suppose it depends on how much you want something...

we humans are full of desires

At this point, adding the topic of desires takes us from talking solely about the two opposing forces we face in our lives-our free will and "some other will"/that which is beyond our control-to the inclusion of WHY we want to push for what we push for. I have been reading and re-reading some of my favorite texts on life and have gone ahead to curate a number of perspectives on will, acceptance and desire for your reading pleasure as well as to encourage you to join me in this conversation. I have a feeling this is a conversation I won't end anytime soon. In fact, I am feeling as though this very subject is at the base of my soul's desire for understanding in this lifetime: "perfect balance".  Is there such a thing?

----

1.) CHRISTIANITY

Though its authorship is questioned, the Serenity Prayer is what came to mind when I considered the topic from my own Christian upbringing.   So while this isn't directly from the Bible and maybe it’s a cop-out, I am choosing to use this to represent this segment of thought:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

That sums it all up quite nicely. Notice that here there is talk of Serenity (grace, surrender, lunar) and Courage (power, will, solar).

2.) YOGA

“When the waters of bhakti (adoration, praise, compassion) are made to flow through the turbines of the mind, the result is mental power and spiritual illumination. While mere physical strength (Solar) without bhakti is lethal, mere adoration (Lunar) without strength of character is like an opiate. Addiction to pleasures alone destroys both power and glory. From the gratification of the senses as they run after pleasures arises moha (attachment) and lobha (greed) for their repetition. If the senses are then not gratified, then, there is soka(sorrow)” -B.K.S. Iyengar in his book, Light on Yoga with a little input from me in (green)

In essence:

Once sorrow/suffering sets in, we are often sent right back to using the mind alone, with power alone, to get what we want (greed) while with mindless adoration, addiction rages. This back and forth swinging is incredibly unbalancing and incredibly “normal”. Yoga seeks to stop this swinging and to reunite and reconcile the want and the appreciation.  So as to know when to implement and when to forgo, when to push and when to accept. Yoga encourages the finding of wisdom.

3.) BUDDHISM

Buddhist psychology says, “There are both healthy desires and unhealthy desires. Know the difference. Then find freedom in their midst." From Jack Kornfield's The Wise Heart:

"Our world runs on desire. We would not have been born if not for sexual desire. Without continuing desire, we would die. There is a desire for love, connection, growth, understanding. When people lose their desire to live, they jump of a bridge or swallow pills. We need desire. And yet desire is a great challenge for us.

The idea is not to be without desire, but to have a wise relationship with desire. As William Blake once said, “Those who enter the gates of heaven are not beings who have no passions or who have curbed the passions, but those who have cultivated an understanding of them.”

So how do we develop this wisdom? Buddhists connect to the root of the desire with neutral thought called “the will to do”. When this will is directed in healthy ways, it produces healthy outcomes. And vice versa. Classic examples of unhealthy desires are not different from any other religious or philosophical view: greed, addiction, lust, and overwhelming ambition. Whereas healthy desires allow us to feed, clothe and care for ourselves, tend to others and to develop our communities. Simple.

4.) JUDIASM

First a quick glance at the Jewish views of Human Nature:

• Humanity was created in the "image" of the Creator
• The "image" of the Creator is the ability to discern and reason
• Humanity has an inclination to both good and evil
• Free will is the ability to choose which inclination to follow

In Judiasm there is what is called the yetzer tov. This is the moral conscience, the inner voice. And there is also the yetzer ra, usually seen as the selfish nature, the desire to satisfy personal needs (food, shelter, sex, etc.) without regard for the moral consequences of fulfilling those desires.

The yetzer ra is not considered a bad thing.  Like in the Buddhist view of desire, it is understood that without the yetzer ra (the desire to satisfy personal needs), man would not build a house, marry a wife, beget children or conduct business affairs. Yet, the yetzer ra can lead to wrongdoing when it is not controlled by the yetzer tov. That seems to be the Jewish understanding of free will: People have the ability to choose which impulse to follow: the yetzer tov or solely the yetzer ra. It is also understood that we all have the ability to make our own choices, and we will all be held responsible for the choices we do make.

5.) TAOISM-verses from the Tao Te Ching

38

The Master doesn’t try to be powerful;

Thus he is truly powerful

The ordinary man keeps reaching for power;

Thus he never has enough.

The Master does nothing;

Yet leaves nothing undone.

The ordinary man is always doing things,

Yet many more are left to be done.

77

As it acts in the world, the Tao

Is like the bending of a bow.

The top is bent downward;

The bottom is bent up.

It adjusts excess and deficiency

So that there is perfect balance.

It takes from what is too much

And gives to what isn’t enough

----

I must admit I am enjoying the fact that I don't prefer any one of these philosophies over another. (Well other than the obvious superiority of the Yogic...just kidding!)  They all say the same thing; you’ll notice there is one word I underlined in almost every perspective.

That word, even if not in the word itself, but rather the message, is wisdom. Wisdom , whose synonyms are discernment and understanding, is an inner knowing . Wisdom can be as simple as saying to oneself, "Remember last time I did that I felt horrible afterwards? I won’t do that again." To something as incredibly complex as in taking the role of a teacher and “knowing” how to guide students to their inner wisdom. In all of this, something I did learn quite concretely is that wisdom cannot be taught.

My greatest take-away from recently reading the Herman Hesse classic, Siddartha, was that knowledge can indeed be passed on, but wisdom must be cultivated within. This comes through applying what we know (or don't know) whether from past experience of our own or of another, a teacher. I dare to say that wisdom is innate. Perhaps it is covered up by our conditioning and deception of how life "is" in the illusory world. Perhaps over time we are simply peeling away layer after layer of our nonsense to get to the core of our wisdom. Or on the other hand, perhaps widsom is something we earn over time, through trial and error, through learning when to PUSH (Solar) and when to ACCEPT.

In these final words, I wish you great success in failure. In failing to push when you really wanted something. For failing to accept something you could not change and causing yourself undue suffering. I wish all of these for you, for in time, slowly, slowly, you will gain the wisdom of the Universe. After all, “the result of the Solar Ascension Attitude is to begin to awaken the highest function of human consciousness.”  Perhaps "the highest function of human consciousness" is wisdom...

Om shanti. Om peace.

-Sivakami

Ascension...Come Again?

OK, I am going there.  I am reading and writing about a document called "Ascension" so now I should probably address...what the heck is this Ascension I speak of.  And hold on tight because it's going to be a little bit of a far out ride for some :)  Which I, of course, just love that you're reading this!  Thank you!

All spiritual traditions, in all of times, have spoken of some ultimate goal. It has been called Enlightenment, Self Realization, God Realization, Nirvana, Bliss, Cosmic Consciousness, Christ Consciousness, Awakening the Kundalini etc. Currently, the term 'Ascension' seems to be emerging as a popular term in reference to this goal. Here is a short listing of different interpretations of said goal: 

1. The evolution of the individual, and the collective evolution of humanity...each soul's and humanity's destiny.
2. A level of consciousness in which we experience permanent union with our Higher Self ..oneness with all Life.  (Union....like the "yoke" definition of yoga)
3. Becoming our highest possible Self... Learning to fully express our creative powers and spiritual capabilities within the challenging conditions of physical reality.
4. Raising our vibration to a higher frequency...closer to that of the light of Spirit. (As opposed to lower vibration frequencies like lust, greed, hate, envy, ect.)
5. A state of permanent peace, joy, and freedom from limitation and suffering.
6. Expanding the role we are playing within an ever‑unfolding universal drama (beyond our current ability to comprehend).

Since stumbling across this document (on Twitter of all places) and taking on the task of covering what the Ishayas call the “27 Techniques to Ascension”, I have begun quite a quest into the world of Ascension. What it is, what it isn’t, how it relates to 2012, to Jesus Christ, to the New Age movement, to Yoga. And what I have found is at one point wide and at another quite narrow. And since this is a simple blog and not a scholarly report, I can’t possibly go into the detail and explanations I might want to…we can do that over a cup of tea sometime.  You see, there is mythology from across time and space that tells the same tales again and again, just using different language. Some of this "mythology” is deeply intertwined with many of today’s most popular religions. As I have read most recently about the Greek Sophia, I have realized she is the same as the Yoga's Shakti. Same stories, different time, different culture…or was it?

Do we really have such a multitude of “cultures” or is this something the human mind has used as a way to establish its own ego? “I am a part of this group. We do this, eat that and speak this way.” Unity in division?  

What if I were to propose that there is only one culture, the human culture? It turns out we have a lot more in common than we have in difference. Because if we have the same stories of (and I am largely generalizing here for simplicity sake) Creator/God/Brahman whose extraordinary light descends due to some sort of passion/desire/sin and creates the world/Shakti/Sophia/Gaia, and then we, being sparks of God (having souls that is), are here in Shaktiland, but remember Creatorland (the place of complete love, nonsuffering we first came from) on some level and desperately desire to return. But those desires get mixed up and crazy in Shaktiland and instead we figure we really just want an empire, a yacht, a diamond, some sex, political power, a cigarette, a film…and on and on. But the yearning never ceases. And soooooo…(drum roll please)…Creator, through compassion, sends some pretty darn (or so it would seem) clear messages down to good old Earth, to remind the people, that there IS actually a way to rejoin Creator/Immaterial for all of eternity AKA no more suffering and no need for death. And so comes Buddha/Jesus/Krishna/Siva…messages. These messages pretty much say, “Hey people, listen up, love yourself because you are perfect. Then love your fellow human, they are perfect too. Stop being afraid, that is crap. There is no need for fear. It’s actually ruining everyone’s time here. Drop it! Get to loving. It’s the only way. Drop the BS of jealousy, greed, envy, hate ect. and accept who you are, what you are and BINGO… you’ve got ACSENSION."  That's right...heaven on Earth, Earth in heaven...however you like it!!

There you have it my friends. There are a bazillion ways towards Ascension, techniques. There are religions. There is yoga and meditation. There is radical acceptance. Whichever path you choose is cool...AND...last but not least....It's being touted in many circles (from the hippy dippies to the Mayan calendar to the economic crisis) that Earth and humanity are currently going through an extraordinary consciousness shift...a quantum leap to a higher, more enlightened state of being (think quantum physics...particles vibrating at an ever-increasing rate).  It is believed that you can choose to go with the flow of this evolutionary current ‑ thus facilitating your ascension process ‑ by preparing yourself for a new and higher level of consciousness. If you choose to do so, here are some tips to assist you! 

1. Connect with your inner knowing daily...in silent meditation or prayer.
2. Be Light. Remember as often as you can throughout the day (when your mind is not fully engaged, drifting) to shift your attention back to the light of your calm true Self.
3. Develop some degree of spiritual non‑attachment. The more weight you give the world, the heavier it is to carry.
4. Strengthen your "energy circulatory system", so that you can conduct higher spiritual energies (AKA prana). This can be done through regular exercise, physical work, or energy body exercises, such as Yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, etc.
5. Learn to attune to your higher guidance.  Think with your heart.

  Om tat sat.  Love and light.  XOm.

Head Above Water

In considering what I will write in a blog post, I often look at what I have recently written, as well as refer to recent emails from friends and family back home. What are they asking? What do they want to know? What seems to intrigue people? Usually it is questions about how I am feeling, and then, what I am doing. This order should be of note.

Seeing as I am only one month in as a sworn-in volunteer, what comes up as a topic ripe for the picking (like the gorgeous and delicious grapes right now in Moldova) is the topic of staying in a "good" place with one's Self-mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Often when we think of the Peace Corps, we think of selfless service. We think of being inundated with so much "new" that we tend to underestimate how much of the "old" we will still actually deal with. This is because not only do we, as volunteers, enter a new country/community/culture, but we also take along our Self, that has lived through so much before this time. I capitalize the term 'Self' because in my mind, it deserves a proper name...the essence of our being that is steadfast and never separate from us regardless of age, location or vocation.

And so, when we enter into the world of literally all "new" we are faced with a great challenge of deciding what of the "old" should come along and what should be left behind. For example: my entire life I have been a people-pleaser. I am not sure why, I was born this way. God-forbid someone was upset with me, especially when it was over something I felt I had no control. I have been working hard at trying to let these old patterns slip away and live more in an "I am doing my best, what others think is their business" attitude. And guess what? Here in Moldova, or in any completely new culture, you simply cannot know what others are thinking. And even if you tried to ask in your new language, the query may (most likely) come across the wrong way, and you won't even understand the response. Or worse, you think you understand the response but it's actually an incorrect interpretation. And with this, my tendency to be overly concerned with my relations with others simply cannot come along for this ride. My Peace Corps experience just might help me to eradicate this less than desirable trait-hooray!

This is just one example of the multitude of old ways of thinking and being that may very well be thoroughly examined during Peace Corps service. Undoubtedly, every volunteer will face aspects of themselves that simply will not jive with living the most authentic and effective two years of service. We will stare in the mirror, either literally or when we look at others and how we react to them. We will see things we do not like, that need change, but also that we love and deserve gratitude. Yes, we did indeed come into Peace Corps service to help. And we knew that this "help" or improvement would extend both out to the world around us and inward to the world that lies within.

I guess what I want to get across here, the fruit that we may together so deliciously savor, is that when we place ourselves in situations of great pressure, we are as a rock placed in a tumbler...tossed, thrown, battered. This part is quite uncomfortable. But what comes out is a shining gem. When we are able to face ourselves and those around us, to keep our heads above water through compassion and understanding...when we are able to comprehend and surrender to the beautiful fact that when we help ourselves we help others and vice versa...we change the world. Inner and outer.

And so to answer the question how am I? : I am up and down and all around.

And to answer the question what am I doing? I am seeking balance. I am struggling. I am growing. I am learning. I am dealing. I am adapting. I am adjusting. I am sleeping too much or I am sleeping too little. I am taking belly-dancing classes to meet people and to awaken my 2nd and 4th chakras. I am talking about yoga in very broken Russian. I am...

People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The Next Big Thing

I wrote this blog post first in my head last night while I was lying in bed, mind spinning, unable to sleep.  This is a common problem among people and I know for me it's usually the first sign that I am getting off-balance.  When I have had too many nights in a row of mind-racing, I know there are some big changes ahead.  The hardest part is that these changes are ones that I need to implement.  Sometimes we just need some guidelines, whatever they might be, to tack us along, to stoke the fire of motivation...

At the ashram, Swami Sita would tell the story of the mind being like a lake.  When it's still, we can see straight through to the bottom of the the clear waters, into the depths of what lies beneath.  We can also see the reflection of the trees, mountains, hills, plains, buildings...whatever is of our world, we see in a clear reflection.  And so once this lake is disturbed, with waves (thoughts), the water gets to be murky and the view of the world around us, distorted.  In other words, the more thoughts we have and the more excited our thoughts are, whether happy/sad/angry ect., the more we disturb the mind and induce the forgetting of "that which lies within" or, our purpose, and begin to distort our world, bringing on a need for judgement rather that pure observation.  It's the cycle.  We are all intimate with these fluctuations.  

And so it's time for me to get this lake of mine to calm down.  I canfind some empathy for myself.  I did just move halfway across the world two and a half months ago, and I am looking at 24 more months of living in this new place, without familiar faces of friends and family, not knowing what my work will look like and so on and so forth.  Last night was my first real "fight" with myself about this.  As tears welled up about all of the things I would miss in the lives of many of the people whom I love, I moved further from the sleep I desperately needed.

And with this blog, with you, the beautiful soul sharing  in these words, I want to retain a space where I can transmute some of this "excitement".  These pages are not only a journal, but a place for me to take those waves from my lake, or better to prevent the winds from ever reaching its shores.  And so that means I share truth, my truth, and this makes me quite vulnerable to you-doesn't it?  But I am going to be OK with that (over time).  I trust you and I love you.  We are all in this together.

And so, also with this blog, I hope to have a place of consistency and regularity.  After recieving my placement in Moldova with Peace Corps, I scanned the web for blogs of volunteers already in-country.  I noticed many blogs having large gaps-sometimes for months at a time.  "Hmmmm", I thought, "I wonder why?"  I had my suspicions of course.  People get complacent, tired, lazy, busy, bored...depressed.  And once I got here and spoke to the volunteers (many of whom did admit to not keeping up with their blogs), coupled with my own apathy to share what amounts to, at times, more hearthache and lonliness than sunshine and rainbows, my suspicions were confirmed.  Moldova is a tough place.  Though most of us have toilets and running water, there is a layer of mental stress here that can be more difficult to overcome than the hardships of physical infrastructure and economic constraint.  These "thought waves" that we are swimming in here are of a calliber that will take some strengthening of ones own mind to overcome.  I have heard numerous accounts of depression, especially in the dark and cold days of winter.  I anticipate that my own mind will take some downward turns.

And so last night, as I didn't sleep, I began to plan a way to ensure that I stay on top of myself mentally (and physically will be good too!) to ensure that at the very least I am posting on this blog once per month.  Yesterday, I came accross a free Ebook on a Twitter post.  It was called Ascension.   Being the new-agey type that I am, I have an interest in other's views of how our world is changing in the more sublte realms.  And this link came from a yogi I follow so I indugled.  I began to look over the document last night and found that it provides, "27 steps towards The Art of Ascension as taught by the Ishayas".  The who?  Their website states, "The Art of Ascension is a systematic mechanical process that directs the mind to the stable point of reference...the home or seat of consciousness itself....Ascension is simple and effortless.  It takes more energy to maintain our fear and illusions of life than it does to relax into the simplicity of the present moment."  Ok, it's yoga.  Just a different taste.  Yoga is like this...like ice cream, like religion, like shoes...there are all different kinds but ultimately the function is the same.  For yoga, the function is to still the mind. 

And so, no I am not subsrcibing to some new sect of anything, I am simply noticing the relevance of a 27-step philosophy towards this end and the fact that Peace Corps is a 27-month endeavor.  And so, the next big thing for me is to use one step as my theme for each month that I am here.  This guarantees I write AND points my mind and thoughts in some direction...ultimately towards my inner Self.  Now since I have already been in Moldova for almost three months, I will have to post about those first three steps before September . The first four of these "techniques" as they are referred to in the book, are what they call Root Stresses, with the first three being:

1.  Praise
2.  Gratitude
3.  Love

You will know when I am posting about one of the 27 techniques because I will call the post "Technique #  ____".  Some of these will certainly be a little "out there" as I look ahead at techniques titled "Lunar" and "Glory" but it is my challenge to myself to find a way to make it all tie in to my life, your life, and ultimately to some Universal truth towards human happiness and peace of mind.  We're all in this together...so happy to have you along for the ride (Praise!), for this is am so GRATEFUL.   I LOVE you!

XOm,
Julie

It's Been a While...(все хорошо )

I did it!

Women of PBN

Driving home through fields of sunflowers, one of Moldova's main crops

Since I have written.  I guess you might say writer's block.  I mentioned in a recent post that I was doing a lot of processing. I find in these times it can be difficult to properly express oneself.  But I figured an update is due, and while I am not currently in a state of intense inspiration or ponderance (I am usually pretty hyped about something when I write on here...maybe you will notice in my tone?), I want to share.

I moved to my permanent site, Balti, on Friday after officially swearing is as a Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV from now on).  My new host parents were there to watch me swear-in and then we drove me back to their apartment where I began to unpack and "settle in".  We live about two blocks from my new work site in the second largest city in Moldova.  On Saturday, I took a stroll with my host mom and her sister and found that there are stores for just about anything I could need here in Balti.  I know it's NOT a village, but somehow I was still surprised with the ease I will have in buying food and other products.  (On Saturday it was hangers I was after).  It was a beautiful day.  The weather since I have been here has been remarkable.  Sunny and dry with a cool breeze.  A good sign I suppose.

Yesterday,  Monday, was my first day of "work".  I put the word work in quotes for two reasons.  One being that I don't have a "job" so to speak as I am a volunteer.  In fact, I was inspired to join the Peace Corps largely due to exercise the concept of Karma Yoga, that is, doing one's duty and not being attached to the outcome AKA, selfless service.  But this is my partner organization and I do aspire to "work" as though I were an employee and to always give them my best.  Secondly, I quote the word because on my first day, we went on a picnic :)  It just so happened that the organization had worked over the past two Saturdays doing trainings and having wrapped up their summer series of training, decided to celebrate with a picnic!  It really was perfect.  Not only was it a relaxing day of fishing, walking, and eating, but I got to know the women I will work with over the next two years and their families in a relaxed setting.  I see this as an immense blessing in that we were able to quickly build a sense of familiarity and trust all while having FUN.  Key word here...I have a feeling that this word is going to be a big theme coming up so watch out for my lessons in this.

On a walk with Anna, who will also be my Russian tutor, we began to discuss the social and economic situation in Moldova and associating that with the health and happpiness of the people here.  I have realized, as has been stated by our Country Director as well, that yes, I may be living in a city and having access to modern day ammenities and supplies, that yes, my Peace Corps experience is not roughing it in a village with no other Americans for hundreds of miles...no the challenges I face are different.  Rather than difficult physical contraints, I will be facing difficult mental constraints: thought patterns old and outdated that don't allow for growth and development and belief systems that constrain positivity and peace of mind.  Are these "mind-forged manacles" more difficult to "fix" than an issue of clean water or shelter?  

Ok, for some FUN stuff; I have two remarkable stories to share from the day: one from the ride to the picnic, and one from the ride home.  I am not sure how the subject arose, but my work partner, Elena, told me the story that one of our trainers tells the women we train in positive lifestyle skills:  фсо хорошо (fso horocho, in Russian means: All good).  The story, which I will tell in lenght another time, is about a king and his prime minister, who was always telling the king that "all is good/all if for the best" and this annoyed the king until a series of events proved the belief true.  What is Очень круто  (ochen cruta, in Russian means: very cool) abou this is that Krishna Darshan, my Yoga teacher during teacher training at the ashram, told us the the very same story and it had impacted me greatly!  I remember calling friends back home and telling the story to them.  These women I will be working with are on a similare thought-vibration as me!!!  Sometimes our blessing are just so rich.

And then, on our ride home from the picnic, I asked what time I should be to the office the next day.  They told me noon.  "Noon?  Whatever will I do with my morning?" I thought to myself.  Immediately what popped into my head was the following (and it was in Russian which is so cool...to begin thinking in your new language and all): много (manoga, in Russian means: a lot) Yoga.  "MANOGA YOGA"  Love it!  I am totally coining that and since I plan on teaching free classes here, they now have a name :)

HARI OM TAT SAT Moldova!  I feel blessed to be here and together we shall discover много.

Я еду в Бeлць!

In other words (well same words, different language...), "I am going to Balti!" (Transliteration: Ya edu v Beltz).  Now that is a hard word in general seeing that even though I 'spelled' it correctly, it's actually pronounced "Beltz".  

And so it is!  We got our site announcements yesterday.  I will be working with an organization called Pro Business Nord in the city of Balti.  I am very excited!  I think that being in an urban center will provide more opportunity to teach yoga than I might get in a village.  I will also get to meet many people and of course practice my Russian.

I can honestly say that it is times like these that the flexibility of yoga comes in handy.  I certainly never imagined that when I joined the Peace Corps I would find myself in an Eastern European city speaking Russian.  My nomination had been for the Caribbean.  I imagined myself on a warm island helping growers find better markets and prices for their produce and products.  I would sleep under a palm tree and eat mangoes for lunch.  But it was only an imagination and NOT an expectation.  And so I was never too let down.  The less we "expect" out of life, the less we suffer.  

I heard a swami say something very interesting shortly before I left for Moldova, "It is important to be 100% invested in all we do, and yet 0% dependant on the outcome".  This is a VERY difficult concept, espeically when applied to businesses, outcomes and financial "security".  But in LIFE, when we give up the need to be in control (an illusion anyway), and simply do our duty, whatever that may be (in the Carribean, in Balti, scrubbing floors, fixing things, starting businesses, ect.) without a dependence on the outcome of these activities to define who we are and what we are worth as humans, we suffer less.  When our worth comes from within, we are always whole.

Om tat sat.

Welcome to Moldova

The trip started a bit easier for me as our staging took place in Philadelphia. I finished packing around 8AM on Monday morning and ran off to CVS for the 4 extra passport photos I had just read that I would need. I also decided to print out some photos to share with my host family: my family, our home, me doing yoga ect. Back to the house, last pack and look around…butterflies.


The trip was as could be expected: long and heavy. As in I always seem to carry too much “stuff”. Something I still have to learn. My only slip-up was leaving my liquids on the security belt in Munich. I realized this at our gate as we were preparing to board for Chisinau and I wanted to spray my face with the fruit enzyme spray I got in my MyChelle sample pack. I looked quickly to the flight attendant…can I go? Fast? YES! Boy did I run. Those small, organic, natural products were too precious to lose. The security men were expecting me. I grabbed, smiled and ran back to my small and stuffy plane to arrive on a hot day in Moldova, my new home
.
The best way to describe the days that followed our arrival is the following: exhausted delight. It was great to finally meet many of the volunteers who were providing guidance as we packed and it was amazing to be spending the time with the people I consider my new family. But at the same time, I was so exhausted that I could only muster up a version of myself. I hope you can feel my love through my eyes.


My first big surprise came when I found out that I would be part of the volunteer group learning to speak Russian. (Only 8 of us out of 54). I am doing my Pre-Service Training (PST) in the village of Cricova, which is predominately Russian. At first I was disappointed. I had told myself for months that I would be learning Romanian and that it was a good thing because it is a Romantic language and my proficiency in it would assist me in learning French, Spanish ect. BUT, my yoga swept right in and told me that all is for the best and to TRUST. This will be a great challenge indeed. For now I am seeing it as a game. Learn as much as I can, do my best.


My host family in Cricova is wonderful! My host parents speak only Romanian and Russian (though only Russian with me) and I have a sister here, Diana. She is twenty and speaks English very well so she is our translator. This makes things MUCH easier but is good and bad as I can depend on her to tell her parents what I am thinking and vise versa. Cricova is famous for their wine, made in the champagne style. Apparently Senator John McCain made a visit to the winery last night!


Foods I am eating: fresh cucumbers, tomatoes, dill, strawberries, cherries, chocolate, coffee, bread, honey, butter, cabbage….I will tell you all of their names “Po Russki” at another time.


Tonight Diana and I picked cherries and I will bring them to my lessons tomorrow to share with my new friends. My life is so blessed with friends…you, them, the ones to come. Today, I am full of gratitude. I know that at times the feeling of gratitude will be challenged in ways I cannot foresee nor imagine. I will come back and look at this bowl of cherries I share with you. It is the people I meet who are the fruits of my labor.


Hari Om tat sat.

EMotion --> DEVotion

Yes, I am still organizing/packing.  It really goes like this:
Collect, scatter, review, pile, repeat. 

Until FINALLY some things are out the door, in a box, at the curb, in the hands of loved ones, or in my suitcase.  As I am preparing for this next big journey (of which I will write more thouroughly about tomorrow...I am still developing my words to express precicely why I am choosing to take this next step/challenge), I am going through a multitude of emotions.  I am suprisingly calm finding  most of my fear/anxiety directed towards packing.  I feel that I did already do a lot of my emotional work in the past two years at the ashram, and with various teachers and healers.  Lots and lots of letting go.  We all have to do it at one point or another.  Maybe I needed that good two years of clearing to be able to face what is to come over the next two years? I felt sorrow, pain, regret, remorse.  I felt good, bad, high, low.  The key is that I FELT. 

Feelings are what motivates me to make choices.  Some of us move more from the head, and some from the heart.  Emotions can be tricky but should never be completely ignored.  Rather they must be experienced and then moved.  Cannot stay stuck.  How long we experience them is up to us.  One of the forms of Yoga, Bhakti, is all about taking emotions and transmuting them into DEvotion.  Through art, singing, writing, prayer, one can offer their pain, sadness, joy and every other rainbow of emotion so that it is not stuck in the body and soul.  Life needs to flow.

And so, on sorrow.  I found this poem the other day on a loose peice of lined yellow legal paper.  I think I wrote this in college...I transmuted my sorrow into words:

Sorrow is a wicked game
Creeps us and I'm tagged
Unbeatable at times it seems
Persists and never lags

I wish no sorrow for this world
And for myself to say
I'm in a battle constantly
To find the good each day

So lonely at times
In a world so full
Please help me God to see
The wonder of the gift of life
So I may let it be

Om shanti shanti shanti.

Sugar and Spice: Don't Call Me Nice

I recently heard a song on the radio, and it went:


All my life I've been good but now,
I'm thinking 'What the hell'
All I want is to mess around,
and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me,
you can't save me, baby, baby


That last line very similar to a song I wrote while living at the ashram:
I know I can't leave this life with you by my side
We each have our own mountain to climb
I can guide you up yours and you guide me too
To the peak it will be where we find our own truth



There are two themes here:


1. Being good/nice
2. Being on our own



1. I am often regarded as being "too nice". This turns some off, annoys others and then attracts some like flies to honey (these fall into two categories-those bathing in the light of kindness and those taking full advantage of a soul who "looks on the bright side"...I deal with both on a daily basis). I don't think I am too nice-especially when I consider that I have dealt with a awful case of inborn guilt almost my entire life. If I thought I was always being sweet and nice, what would I have to feel guilty about? That wasn't it. Of course from the outside it looked that way. I am currently on the cusp of embarking on a difficult and life-changing challenge (more for another post) that involves some foreign travel and being surrounded by all new circumstance. I can remember being young and watching shows like The Real World in places like Paris and London and thinking, "I cannot believe how rude some of these people are/how ignorant to embracing a new culture/if I were there I would learn the language, be kind and open, blah blah blah." And that is why producers of a show would likely never pick someone like me to be on it!


Case in point: the people from the show The Apprentice came to my university my senior year, interviewing for the upcoming season. I thought, "What the hell?" and interviewed. Because of my domestic skills (babysitting, gardening) mixed with my keen business acumen (OK I made that up, but I sure made them think I was a biz whiz), I was asked to do a taped interview for the Apprentice: Martha Stewart. WELL...it went well and they said they would get back to me. About 3 months later, I got the call saying that they loved me, I'm great, but the final decision was that I am "just too nice" to be on the show. Uh-huh. Being nice, again, doesn't make for such great entertainment.


But I can't change who I am. And what came to me last night while I luxuriated in a warm salt bath is that it's not that I am nice. I think what it is, is that I am pretty happy. Sure, I have my ups, downs, confusions, "what the f@#k am I doing with my life?" times, but in general I was born joyous. And that spark of joy, though dimmed at times, remains luminous enough for others to see. And so am I nice? Sometimes. Am I happy? I am realizing that in my quest to wellness, my intense passions in natural foods, sustainable ways of living, doing business...my love of all things spiritual, yoga, meditation...in all of this there was always one underlying principle: the universal theme that I was looking to get to was always happiness. I know that peace of mind=happiness and so whatever can bring a human that peace in their hearts and minds, whatever can slow the spinning thoughts that cloud us from our inner luminosity, THAT is what I am looking to understand. So that I can share.



2. Now this takes me to how my song relates to the above Avril Lavigne song.



If you love me, if you hate me,
you can't save me, baby, baby


And I know I can't leave this life with you by my side
We each have our own mountain to climb



This is about the stark reality that NO ONE outside of ourselves is going to swoop in and make us happy. Nobody. Somebody. Anybody. NOPE. Just you. We each have our own truth to find. We will have many guides and teachers along the way. They show up in the forms of friends, enemies, family, lovers, spouses, swamis, preachers, bosses, the homeless man you pass on the street...are all our teachers. But it is up to each of us as individuals to BE happy. To BE grateful. No one, nothing, no circumstance, will ever be able to step in and do that for us. I am on a true quest for one thing: discovering the universal attributes to happiness. I already know that peace of mind is happiness. So now, it's all about how we obtain that peace of mind. I know this is what Yoga teaches. I am sure this is what many other philosophies and spiritual texts teach. What I want to discover, what comes up from the depths of my soul, is how we can spread this...for if each individual were happy, if companies functioned based on decisions that came out of joy rather than power, manipulation and coercion...what a whole new world we would find ourselves in.


So perhaps being nice doesn’t get you far. But being happy does.


Om tat sat.


XOm

On Being Transparent

Something of an epiphany came when someone spoke of our connection to God through each other recently. I heard this often at Sunday school growing up and every day at the ashram was reminded of the divinity of each human around (the bathroom signs read "Blessed Self please do not flush large objects down the toilet..."). But a new light has been shed on the subject for me. This is a common belief among many religious and spiritual circles. And I do believe it's true. Relationships are meant to expose us to the incredible amount of love and support that exists for us in this life. However...they don't always do that-do they?

No-instead we often end up with enemies that used to be friends, ex-lovers we used to swoon over, even family members we suffer through on holidays only. When and why did these "opportunities to experience God", become experiences with our deepest, darkest fears often marred with shame, regret and intense propensities for being the "right" one in a falling out?

As I revealed in my an earlier post, I took an internship in NYC recently in order to expose myself to some new information, experiences and growth. I am now coming to a close on week three. It's been hard, exciting, tiring, rewarding...all of the things that "work" is. And I am learning a LOT. It is a PR/Social Media Marketing role and something I keep coming across in my training and research is TRANSPARENCY. Like in this article I read today (thanks for posting Linda). The jist is that the more we present what is what in our ever-more real-time world of information and news, the less "clean-up" we have to do later, the more people trust our company's information, and the more likely they will be to become a "fan" and customer.

So now how does this link back to yoga and more specifically the yoga of relationships? It seems that the more we as people are transparent with our intentions, with who we truly are, then others will respond in an authentic way as well. There is no mess to clean up later because everything was clean from the get-go. When we give up looking good and being right all of the time, we end up looking vulnerable, sometimes ugly, but all together and entirely HUMAN. And guess what? People like this BETTER than the fake, "I'm always fine and good and happy don't really need you or anybody else" attitude we tend to take on when feeling that vulnerability. (Or conversely the "I'm a victim and will just DIE if you don't like me" attitude). In other words, when someone is being REAL, no matter how hard that is or how hard their truth may be to swallow, it's always going to be more attractive than inauthenticity. We will always line up to be in front of people who are themselves. Why? Because when we drop the ego and drop the games, what is left is our true Self. What is left is God. And guess what? We LOVE to be in the omnipresent, ultra-accepting love and warmth of God.

Open up, drop the BS, and let your true light shine. And then be prepared for the increasing number of people who want to be around you. They want to bathe in that light.

Om shanti. Om peace.