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There are no destinations in this life, on this earth. There is only the journey. There is no 'place' or 'state' to 'get to' where one will find happiness waiting. Happiness is within you now, just waiting for your to allow it to come out, to be the predominant state of your being. Currently, for most of us, this is clouded by delusion-by thoughts that if we win that game, get that money, meet that person...we will then be happy.
This delusion comes over us over time, as our minds become what in yoga is said to be 'impure'. When we are born, as babies, we are happy. When does this happiness end? Can you recall that moment? For most of us it's a collection of moments. For some it starts younger and for some the disillusionment won't start to set in until an older age. For some it begins with abuse, and for some simply not receiving enough attention from parents, or not getting that pony.
I try to look back and recall when it was that my pure, ecstatic 'little girl' joy began to slip away. I recall crying whenever my kindergarten teacher reprimanded me...why was I so worried and concerned in these situations? Was I so desperate to have my teacher like me? Why so 'guilty' at 5 years old over a lost book or broken toy? And then there was my 'beauty mark' aka mole. I was born with a mole below my left eye. As I grew older, it grew too and became a distinct feature of my face. I did always have a pleasant face, a friendly disposition that some would describe as bubbly. I was born joyous. But as I grew older, my fellow classmates began to use my mole as reason to make fun. I specifically recall a girl in 3rd grade on the playground yelling at me, "Well at least I don't have an ugly mole on my face"...I was heartbroken. I took this superficial trait and internalized it. This was wrong thinking. My happiness and joy began to slowly dissipate as events like this would continue to transpire. Whether it was in reference to my chicken legs, ability in sports, crushes on boys...always something there to disappoint. And so the self-loathing began...
All of this is wrong thinking but because it feels so real, because of the emotions behind it all, it becomes our reality. It is only when we delve deep within, when we begin to question the way the world 'is', that we can begin to unravel these entanglements, or as William Blake described them as, "mind-forged manacles". We can, at any one point, choose what we want to take on and what we want to let go of...what we want to believe and value, and what has no value. In these inquiries we begin the process of discovering the true self, and in this we begin the true practice of yoga.
Om shanti.
