June 17, 2013

My Small, Quaint Moldovan...

Well folks, I can't beat around this one. I have written about health, food, spirit and love. And now comes a very personal post about myself and possibly the most real reason I haven't written in such a long time. I have been busy falling in...love.

a lady in love
I have written in the past about how I have a tendency to see myself through the eyes of others. This was something that Swami Sita could see in my astrological chart and that I have always known. In simple English, this means I care way too stinking much what others think about me and I form my self-image based on their feedback of me. This is SUPER dangerous. This is something that I have had to work on, strengthening my own sense of self has been a freaking struggle my entire life. And now Costea has came along. Costea is short for Constantin. His name sort of sums it up. He is consistent and constant and loving and honest. From the beginning he was incredibly honest with me and asked of the same from me.

 I had never had someone so forthright about their feelings and about their impressions of me-good and bad. It was refreshing. Those weaknesses he exposed were ones that I knew all too well of, that I had been trying to hide or cover up. My ego didn't want to admit any of them! But Costea insisted I could change, I could grow and get better and better. In fact he was sure of it and wanted to be a part of that process. And he asked that I do that same for him. This was love. Of course this didn't all happen overnight and as with all meaningful relationships it has taken a lot of work for us to get to the place we find ourselves-married!



 For the last months, I have been focused on my relationship and my work in Moldova and so that meant not much room in my mind or days for the pleasure-filled outlet of writing, which I do love so much, on this blog and other projects. Thank you for being here, for bearing with me, for being...

In my last post, I proclaimed I was back to food. I was back to believing strongly that what we put into our bodies has MAJOR effects as to what goes on in our lives. And I have proclaimed in the past that all I want to do is to help people to better understand their own body's needs-nutritionally and through movement, as well as how this connects, or is the "gateway" to their entire life-both spiritual and here on Earth! That connection is so REAL and it's something that I can't get away from. Through all of my business background, non-profit work and *secret* desires to be wealthy and not-so-secret desire to be healthy, it is food, spirit, and wellness that keep pulling me back in. And when Costea and I talk about my career, the past failures, the current struggles, and future dreams, he tells me in his honesty that it is with FOOD and SPIRIT and WELLNESS and UPLIFTING and YOGA and WRITING where he sees my power. He applauds my past attempts to make a living in these areas, understands and empathizes in my failures, and empowers me to blaze forward. Forget about money, forget about fame, forget about making an name and just GO WITH YOUR PASSION.



If I could ever give out some of the best advice I also received, it would be to find a partner who is an honest witness to your own being and who is not afraid to report back what they observe-out of love and out of the desire for growth. Because life is both light and dark, and the person who sees the dark and is not afraid to pull you out of it, is a true gift.

I have learned so much in my time as a Peace Corps Volunteer. International relations, project writing, and empowerment. These skills will not go to waste and the work and connections I make here continue to be meaningful in ways I never could have dreamed. I found my husband! I found amazing friends, and I am finding the way to see myself through my own eyes, and those of a trusted partner.



Om!