Holistically Human

We are in the throws of a major revolution. Or maybe you’d call it an evolution. However you want to look at it, things are changing in our world more quickly than in any point of known history. 

Admittedly, I have been confused as to how I have ended up in life where I am. I started out studying business, but only because my dad refused to support schooling in the fashion industry, where I really wanted to go. I figured that a business background would be useful, I could work in the “fashion industry”. Of course you later find out that the industry is very much a “who you know” or “how much you already have” situation where naturally extremely talented individuals can and do rise, but they are typically on the creative side. As in studied fashion or fine arts. I digress.

So it was business. So I worked in big business. So I died a little inside. And it surfaced outside of me in the form of hives for over a year. It was as though my body was screaming from the inside. One of the first major sweeps of our current revolution “saved” me from this with layoffs (AKA 2008). Maybe it was intuition, a dash of passionate interest, sprinkled with a burning desire to heal my hives situation, but when I lost my job, I was already half way through studying for a certificate in holistic health counseling. And in that program my interest for local, organic, whole foods as a source of healing the person and the world, became a new passion. 

I refused to re-enter the corporate world and did all I could to stay afloat doing work I cared about. I took a seasonal job as a local produce buyer. I worked for a startup nonprofit in sustainable agriculture. But I could not sustain me. I couldn’t afford rent. I hadn’t realized a way to do what I cared about and to take care of me. I know many, many of us face this every day. We are not all so lucky to have such fantastic choice of vocation as others. There is truly no “fair” reconciliation of this. Only that we must do what we have to do and somehow find that passion for what we feel we want to do, what maybe we were born to do, with the energy and time we have outside of the way we make our paychecks. Those of us lucky enough will at one point have an opening to reconcile our passions and paychecks. But it’s not just luck, we have to also take risks.

And risk is where I am heading with all of this. 

Back when I was studying the nutrition, I was very convinced that I neede to write a book called Holistically Human.  This book would be about how we’re living in the throws of a time when technology is evolving so much more quickly than our biological selves and because of this we are suffering. We have anxiety, depression, diabetes, obesity, digestive issues and autoimmune diseases galore. I see these as great symptoms of a great change. 

I haven’t written that book. Not yet. Somehow I didn’t feel I had all of the pieces.

Back to my confusion. After some deep introspection during my time spent living at the yoga ashram, I decide to (finally) apply for the Peace Corps. I had wanted to do the Peace Corps since my freshman year of college when I met a group of returned volunteers at a study abroad fair. They all seemed so different than most people I met. They had this knowing about them that I admired.

However, with the death of my brother during my junior year of college, I felt paralyzed to go so far away from my family for such a long period of time. So I dropped the idea from my conscious mind. But it never went away truly. 

In 2011 I embarked on a 2-year journey to Eastern Europe to do whatever was asked of me. I did know I’d learn a lot about the world, myself, and about humans in general. I also knew that I’d gain a better understanding of how government, public, and private industry work together to solve societal problems. And all of this did happen. And then I came home. And then what?

I often find myself in envy of people who always know what comes next. “I’m going to Peace Corps, then I’m getting my JD, then I’m moving to Montana and buying 300 acres and having 5 babies”. Well isn’t that nice?! What a plan! But that’s not me. I don’t lay it out like that for whatever reason. And yes, I know all of the books that teach us about the secrets of realizing our greatest desires say we need a CLEAR picture of what we want to and hold that, then we'll get it. But aren't we also supposed to be careful what we wish for? The only thing I clearly know that I want is peace of mind, happiness, and health.

I guess I don’t trust my fleeting desires for what I WANT as much as I trust that the smaller choices I make daily in my life lead me to what I NEED. Maybe I am wrong but hopefully that as I grow wiser with time, my choices just keep getter better.

"And so how the f did I end up here?" I've spent the last year asking myself. I am not making good money. I do not own a home. (Nor a second home obvi...a desire). I do not have a gaggle of children. I would not be considered successful in the eyes of many. And certainly not in the eyes of my 19-year old fashion industry-wanting self. 

But you know what I've finally realize I am doing? I am facing that revolution I've been so aware, the first major kick of which I experienced in 2009. The awareness likely spans my entire life. I finally feel that I am alive right now to somehow play, no matter how small, a role in preparing us for this revolution. For preparing and for sustaining in a flexible, adaptable way. 

In my current role, I am developing and implementing programs that teach high school students about the entrepreneurial mindset. My boss inspires me with his reason for doing what we do: because the world is rapidly changing and we can assuredly predict that that change will continue at an ever-increasing rate. Bill Gates himself shares concern for the number of jobs that will soon be replaced by AI and the “software substitution”. Yes, the coming technology will change things and we need to have people prepared for this in more ways than simply knowing how to work with technology. Of course we need programmers and consultants and IT project managers, but more than that, we need to let young people know about this change and prepare them to be flexible, adaptable, and yes, entrepreneurial. Because with great change, comes great opportunity. And those who know how to recognize this opportunity, who are willing to take risks, to approach it, to work with it, to bring value to others, will flourish in our new world. 

It’s not just about food and nutrition, spiritual wellbeing, beauty and fashion, money. It’s not just about one thing. It's holistic. I wanted to write about the holistic human, and how to thrive in our world of tomorrow. There is more to the picture, and I am immersed in that now. I am grateful. I would not be here if not for the journey to here.

OM tat sat.

Thinking About Not Thinking?

What would happen if we dropped the notion that there is anything to do, anywhere to go, something to attain, anything that needs to be different than what is in this very moment?  


What if we forgot about things like enlightenment and ascension?  If we stopped the search? If we stopped intellectualizing, thinking, ruminating? If we just "let it be"?


Food for thought (or lack thereof!)


I invite you to listen to satsanga (Sanskrit सत्सङ्ग sat = true, sanga = company) (8:41) with Mooji where he talks about enlightenment in a different way. Take a few deep breaths before watching the clip and enjoy.  OM!





Now I am off to bed, to (hopefully) allow my dreams to do my thinking for me :) What thoughts seem to take over your mind? Do you know how to slow them down? Or why you would want to?

XOm

Technique 7: EARTH!

This is the next post in the Ascension series.  Since this is December's post (opa! meaning "oops" in Russian-ish, at least here in Moldova!), there will be two this month.  My next post will be on my two Christmases and 2 New Years :)


Oh Earth, oh home!  There are so many, many topics I could cover regarding you: your health, your ecology, your age, your size...


But there is an aspect of you that grabs my attention so dearly.  The one thing about you that I find such a place in my heart for...humans.  Yes, Earth, you have us humans all over you.  We change you, we use you, we play with you.  And you support us.  No matter what we do, you provide us water, minerals, food, and oxygen.  That is amazing.  You must know about unconditional love.


And so with this technique, Earth, I want to address what I find to be the most plaguing issue on your plate today.  It is what I am always writing about.  It is humanity, it is our true nature, and it is what keeps us from knowing that and henceforth clinging to you, dear Earth, so tightly.


The Earth Technique....designed to remove the last of the separation between the individual and the Universe...The Earth Attitude creates a refined level of witnessing, the hallmark of Perpetual Consciousness, 


When I read this, I think of a poem I had read while looking up the Eagle's animal totem.  On one of my last days in the U.S. prior to my Peace Corps departure, my family and I stumbled upon an immature Bald Eagle on a Cape Cod beach.  And this was the message:


On the currents of the Four Winds
you ride the sky
held aloft by unseen hands
that hold you close to the Grandfather


Far below lies the world of Man
a realm in which you also dwell,
yet always from within
comes the ache to rejoin the Great Spirit


Caught between two realms,
you remind all who witness your beauty and strength
of the eternal struggle of the two-legged
to rise above the mundane
and feel the Soul take flight

Caught between two realms
This is how I often feel and I have made that clear in a number of my posts.  This seemingly innate desire to rise up spiritually, to detach from mundane worldly pleasures is almost immediately met with an attitude of, "OK, I am here, let's just do this and enjoy it."  And so finding the balance between these two places is a great challenge.  And what I want to share with you today is what I see as humanity's current great challenge, from a very broad and esoteric view.  I warn you now about that, so if you are not interested in such ideas, no need to go further.  I am going to mention the likes of governments, religions, and materialism.  I don't mean "materialism" like, "...she a gold digger", (though that too), but more as an over-current to modern man's view of life being so solid, so concrete, so dense, so absolute. I do not mean to judge or condemn. These are simply the times we live in. It's written in the stars. It is a part of our evolution as a whole.  I simply want to bring some things to light in order to assist with our further evolution, to nudge us all, closer to Truth.

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Our Material World: Government and religion leading the way
Governments are and have always been afraid of authentic spiritual knowledge.  This is mostly due to the fact that if a person truly believes/understands the concept that, "I am not this body, I am not these thoughts, I am not ANY label" then they won't need to run to the store to buy  the things to support these labels, won't feel themselves inadequate as to look for leadership and approval from another...they won't join in the perpetuating game of "not good enough".  It is my belief, one that I do not intend to push but do want to share, that organized religion has also become a way to keep people away from their own true nature.  Unfortunately, in today's world, the one place people will often turn to in a time of hope, despair and inquiry, is the same place that will keep them at an arm’s length away actually experiencing the enlightenment we all so deeply crave-mostly on a subconscious level.

Our Deepest (Secret) Desire
Have you heard of Non-Violent Communication? It is a communication process that makes the assumption that all human beings share the same needs-what they refer to as "Universal Human Needs". They are listed as:  Connection, Interconnectedness, Competence, Meaning, Peace, Honesty, Autonomy, Celebration, and of course our Physical Needs.   The developer behind this theory proposes that all suffering comes from these basic needs not being met, whereas joy and happiness, occur when they are met.  And just like we may not be aware of these exact needs, we also might not be aware of our desire to understand our true nature.  But just like with the other needs, when not met, we cannot remain in permanent and authentic joy without it.  Something will always be missing.

We all need to eat, sleep, breathe and drink water.  But if those were all we needed, would we be any different from a squirrel or a pig?  There is something different about us indeed-all of those other things listed above.  (I am not saying animals don't too need cuddles and a sense of belonging too-some more than others).  I will take the above list one step further and propose that there is a basic human need for understanding one's true nature.  Now, I do not believe that every person, in every lifetime, will actually face this need.  But as soon as you ask yourself the question, "Who am I?", you have begun the quest, no matter how far you take it, to understanding your own true nature.  AND...IF you were to succeed on this quest, rest assured you wouldn't have much time or care to deal with things like politics, economies, shopping, buying, owning, being better, being right and so on.  No, you would rest in the understanding of your true nature as sure as the sun rises.  You would understand that all is perfect and there are no inequities.  You would be in constant peace. 

Material Clinging
And so governments and religion are certainly afraid of enlightened souls.  Their very existence depends upon people being confused and suffering.  And so they do what they have to in order to keep people asleep in material consciousness.  I hate to sound like some conspiracy theorist, and that I think governments and churches are "out to get us". While I do find it frustrating that ancient knowledge of how to understand ourselves has been all but hidden, I do also trust that most people in power are trying to accomplish what they truly believe to be best.  Unfortunately for the rest of us, they are most often operating out of an entirely unenlightened place...a place of materialistic clinging. 


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And so how does one conclude this?!  I guess the main point is that we are between two worlds my friends. And in this time as a human, we are truly of neither.  We are not pure spirit and we are not pure animal.  We are both.  Meditating on this truth can help us to understand the impermanence of it all, the fleeting qualities of the material world. Would you rather work towards what will be a part your existence for a mere blink, or for the vast eternity?  

XOm!

Yoga Say What? Learn. Forget. Remember.

The true definition of Yoga might very well be different dependant upon whom you ask. While I was studying at the Yoga Farm we in fact learned that there are many translations regarding the meaning of Yoga. Today, I will share those meanings and how I see them pertinent in today's world.

A little background on the source and history of Yoga before we delve into WHAT exactly it is. Yoga Philosophy comes from The Vedas. The Vedas, translating to "knowledge" are writings transmitted to the world via sages/saints over three thousand years ago. So like with the prophets of the Bible and other spiritual texts, these people sat quietly, at times for years at a time, in order to receive these Truths to assist humanity in achieving its purpose. For those of us with a sense that we ARE indeed born with purpose, these texts become something to be examined and considered. With Vedanta Philisophy (this is the philopophy of the Vedas, also known as Yoga philosophy) being "the end of knowledge", Vedanta implies that once you truly understand the message, there is simply nothing left to know.

I had a moment of intense clarity the other day (LOVE those right?) where three words came to me: Learn. Forget. Remember. In these three words I relate to the Vedas & Yoga.

• In LEARNING: we are born and we learn so much about the world around us-right and wrong. For example, we learn that we eat fruits and vegetables not rocks and dirt. This is 'right'. We also "learn" that perhaps we are not talented enough, smart enough, or attractive enough. This is "wrong". So we learn and learn and learn until one day we say, "HEY-I don't think I have this all RIGHT. I don't believe what this and that person said and I want to get back to the way I was before I believed that!".

• And so we have to work hard to FORGET. This is what a lot of the Yoga practice is meant for. To release us from the false perceptions we have of ourselves and the world around us.

• Once we do this work, we can REMEMBER. We can remember who we are, why we came into this life, and the all important work we are supposed to do. We remember our purpose. THIS, is life.

Now back to the meanings of YOGA in order to apply them to LIFE:

Yoga is:

#1. A level of bliss, maintained. In this I see that it's something that is meant to be constant.

#2. Evenness of the mind. Here is the view that it is when we have enough control over our own thoughts to not get overly excited about things. While that may sound like a downer at first, when we think about that what goes up must come down (physics), we can understand that for every super-excited thought or reaction, we level it out with an equally depressed or lethargic state of being. So the more we can keep our minds steady, the less we suffer.

#3. Skill in action. This is where we delve into what is commonly called Karma Yoga or Seva. Here we participate in our duty; whether it be as a parent, janitor, banker ect., we do our work without expectation regarding the outcome. When we can do this, we cannot be let down as we never had expectations to begin with. In this we can approach #2 much easier!

#4. A scientific method to find truth. Indeed. It is written, it is proven, it's been done for thousands of years. It is NOT a religion, it does NOT ask for any steadfast belief or surrender, it only provides a method to LEARN. FORGET. REMEMBER.

#5. Union with the Divine. This is perhaps the most popularized definition, often referring to a translation of 'yoke'. In this we can say that here is the REMEMBERING that we are no different from any other person nor from whatever That is Who created all of this!

#6. The severance from the union with pain. As is #3, when we aren't expecting things to turn out a certain way, when we simply try our best and offer the results to the world rather than laying claim to them...we don't hurt. We don't identify with 'losing' because we had never intended to put our Self out for gain. Pretty. Darn. Cool!!!!

I hope you have enjoyed this little lesson in Vedanta and that you have seen that while indeed esoteric (no matter how I could try, I could never not be spiritual...if that makes any sense!), there is a lot of meaty, relevant and useful information in all of this.

Om Tat Sat.

Big Sky Delight: Solstice, Eclipse, Full Moon Oh My!

There is some stuff going on celestially-no doubt. We have many interesting alignments: Winter Solstice, Full Moon, Lunar Eclipse. It's VERY rare to have three strong aspects in one night. This I know. The implications? That I don't. I am by no means an astronomer nor astrologer but I am fascinated by it all. So I have taken on the task of trying to make some sense of what this could all mean for us as we close out 201o and prepare for a new year. I broke down my research into the three aspects and will do my best to share what I think is happening. All I know is that when I was living at the ashram, Swami Sita would keep us in check with any strange happenings celestially (sometimes through decisions regarding when to hold classes ect. not by telling us anyting), like when NASA was bombing the moon back in October 2009...apparently there was a really strange alignment that signified some violence with moon energy!

So first we look at the solstice. The Winter for the northern hemisphere and Summer for the southern. Since I am in the northern and so are most of you, I will focus on that. It seems that many a profound insight can spring from the dark. We are currently in our darkest time of the year given the amount of sunlight vs. darkness. And when we would normally have a nice bright moon to lighten up THE darkest 24 hours...it is blocked. Think about it. Well back to solstice; we begin to get more light each day leading us to Spring. So symbolically, I see it as a time when we can collect all that we have experienced over the past year and really digest it. Pass off what doesn't need to sit with you any longer and open up to the new, using what you have learned. This is the light.

And this leads us to the Lunar Eclipse. Seen at exactly 3:17AM EST and 12:17AM PST (tonight/tomorrow), this rare alignment with the Solstice has not been seen in centuries!!! A full lunar eclipse only occurs when there is a full moon. The Earth gets between the Sun and Moon and blocks the Sun's light (power, heat) from bouncing off of the Moon (receptivity, cooling). When this happens we can tend to feel closed off and heated up...I think. I mean that it what makes sense to me. Eclipses are also known to be harbingers of change. Feelings or desire of a need for change may feel pressing and urgent at this time. With the solstice/eclipse combo I think it leads to a lot of CHANGE and LETTING GO.

And lastly, we have the aspect of the Full Moon. It is in Gemini/Sagittarius so apparently this means it's time to realize the power of our inner thoughts and desires and to perhaps re-evaluate where we have been and on what path we traverse. REALIGN AS-NEEDED! That being said, there is some advice to heed regarding how best to go about doing so. On the Gemini side of things, we find an emphasis on how we learn. I think this connects to us digesting what we take in (or casting off what we don't want to) which either expands or limits our range of effectiveness concurrently. We need to be sharing and taking in information in a way that doesn't choke the network but invites joy and exciting change. How do we do this? We stay focused and confident. And on the Sagittarius side of things, this will be an important time to check in and see how you stand with you. It's also important to make sure to have enough information so as choices we make right now are not short of the mark. If it feels like you don't know enough to make a decision right now-->wait. Keep hunting and be continually wise, changing when the input changes.

In summary (and if this seems like just a whole bunch of STUFF...trust me it was just has hard to rake through the dozens of sites I read, each having different times, outlooks and information), it seems the main themes and advice for this powerful time of transformation are:

1. Reflect on what you have learned this year, digest what you want, cast off the rest.

2. Stay positive and focused. Be confident in your path or make changes as needed. (Only when you feel you know enough to make the decisions necessargy for change).

3. Transmute any 'closed-off' or 'heated' feelings into powerful new opportunities. Listen to what your heart is saying (not your head). *Note: wearing pearls can help with this.

4. Make sure you are good with YOU.

5. Be sure to share with others what you have learned in a way that invites joy rather than creating blocks. Commune.

It would probably be a very good idea to work on being in control of your thoughts today and tomorrow and keep them focused on what it is you would like to see traspire in your life. No better time to meditate than now.

Om shanti shanti shanti!!! Have an amazing solstice/eclipse/full moon...get outside and see it, feel it and shape your life.

Anthem Found

I am playing this song over and over and over and over...don't you just love when you find a song that speaks to you so loudly? I mean tears and realizations and laughter and that feeling of, "of course!" It's almost as though the song has been resounding inside of me my whole life and I am just remembering it now...does that ever happen to you?

Matthew Paul Miller, whose Hebrew name is Matisyahu, is an American Hasidic Jewish reggae musician. Now how's that for you? I LOVE IT! There are 3 different cultures intertwined and that is just so beautiful. I was doing a little research on him for this blog post and am freaking out a little bit because I tend to stumble upon the craziest 'coincidences' all of the time. In other words, synchronicity does not escape me and so I am aware of the many signs I am always receiving. If you ever wondered what it is like to have multiple epiphanies in a typical day, call me. It's a blessing I am sure but also demands many tears. I swear I have to stay extra hydrated to keep up with the flow. OK-so what were these synchronicities? Well, for one he was born in West Chester, PA a mere two years prior to my own arrival into the same town. And second, he has a younger sister named...you guessed it- Julie. Interesting!

Watch the video then download the song and blast it...let your heart SING..."ONE DAY"

-OM

Shanti Shanti Shanti

Peace Peace Peace

Monday Meditation: Peace in the Pew

I went to church yesterday with my mom. It's the church that I attended growing up. It's a nice church. Nice people, pretty building, talented ministers. I did find the services boring at certain points in my life, most likely because I was being forced to attend against my will. One can imagine that a teenager would much rather be in bed at 9AM on a Sunday morning than sitting on a hard pew listening to parables and announcements usually regarding things furthest from said teenager's mind. But yesterday was different. As was the time I attended this same church a few weeks earlier on my own. And here is why (other than that I haven't been a teenager in 10 years!):

I spent 7 months waking up at 5:30AM to sit for half and hour in silence to meditate. I filled two journals in that time with insights and wisdom that would surely only come to me in those dark and quiet moments. And while I have not been able to maintain a self-discipline to sit myself down for half an hour each morning since I have departed the community and structure that an ashram brings, I am discovering a few tricks. And one is church.

Because I would never describe myself as religious, I do believe this would work in almost any center for spiritual communion, not necessarily only in a Presbyterian church. But what happens during the service is simply this-you can't get up and leave. I mean you could if you really wanted or needed to but in essence you are committed to being somewhat still and present for about an hour. And within that hour there is some standing, some singing, some messages from the Bible, as well as some moments for prayer-both led and silent. Aside from the standing aspect, this is not too different from Satsang at the ashram! Sit still, quiet the mind, empty your 'self' and your 'Self'/God just may swoop in with some answers. Of course I believe those 'answers' are always there, we just can't really hear them through all of our over-analytical, frenzied thinking. And on this particular Sunday, having spent the previous afternoon at a bookstore reading many of the political and social journals and magazines, my mind took me here in the midst of the silence:

NOTE: This is verbatim, written on a small orange notepad my mom was miraculously carrying around with her. I now know to bring my journal to church. Also note that the minister's message for the morning was about the prophet Jeremiah, who was incredibly unpopular for the prophecies he would bring to the people-so much so he was eventaully thrown in jail. I suppose we have a long history of those who cry for change being belittled and hated, even when what they bring is TRUTH. (Especially then). This is my truth and I share:

I am choosing in this first statement to focus only on idealism and optimism when looking at our nation: We have done wondrous things in a mere 300 years. We have created infrastructure like no other in size, breadth and effectiveness. Our achievements are many and they are grand.

Now, I add the realist tilt, the view that is gaining popularity but still will never be a delivery of 'good news' in conventional circles. Was this great building of cities and infrastructure done with mindfulness? No. Was is done with greed, with the mind on the fiscal progress of the few and the feeble benefit or poeverty of many? Yes.

I do happen to believe that everyone does their best. Meaning that in a given situation, humans will, with their frame of reference in that moment, make the best decision they can at that time. And so I don't shed blame. It is clear that the best that could be done with our collective frames of reference was done. And now? Now we see the error of our way. We do need to feel a sense of pride in our progress in the sense of technology and discovery, but also an even greater sense of calling to repair the wounds that have resulted in our haste.

The prescriptions of consumerism and capitalism to heal the wounded American/Human spirit, have proven to have disastrous side-effects. And rather than to continue on this unsustainable 'pharm-cycle' of a pill-for-an-ill, the time has come to address the cause of the disease rather than simply treating the symptoms. We are killing our environment and its inhabitants with the weapon of human greed. How do we heal this? What is the right prescription? (Grassroots, grow-your-own...the people need to WANT to stop buying crap...)

Om tat sat.

To-Do/To-Be

I wake up each morning with a list running through my mind of what needs to be accomplished in the day. I want to pay attention to this thinking and to accomplish all of the presenting tasks but then I say, "ssshhhh! Can't I just be for a moment?" This was one of my biggest obstacles during my time at the ashram. Given that we practiced meditation for at least an hour a day, one quickly got an idea of what sort of thoughts tend to swirl around, incessantly taunting the owner of the mind to 'do something' rather than 'just sitting there'. For me, this came in the form of ideas. I would plan what to write in an email, entire chapters of books I wanted to write, names of companies I wanted to start...grrreat! Why is it that when we are trying so hard to 'just be' that we (or I) can't stop thinking about what to 'do'? Well this is likely the biggest obstacle in yoga, in life. If one definition of yoga is the cessation of thought waves, then the mind that is constantly planning is quite the opposite.

This morning was no different. Sit quiet, the list starts. "Write a blog about this, email that person, run to the bank, pick up those forms." And then I think, "wait...here I am rattling off a list and I can't even write it down. So does this mean I will forget everything that is coming to me right now? Or can I trust that it's all 'in there' and that those reminders will come back into play once I'm not trying to sit and meditate or do my yoga asanas?" This can all make for a very short meditation or asana practice if the mind believes those tasks are more important that sitting quietly and stretching out.

I am figuring out that a sure sign of progress along the spiritual path is when one can brush off the 'To-Do' and replace with 'Just-Be' when appropriate. This certainly takes planning, organization, and faith that what needs to be done...will be done.

A strong mind knows To-Be is just as important as To-Do!

Om tat sat.

When I Leave for Good

This last month has been...crazy. No better word. I was quite literally sucked out of the ashram due to my grandmother's death on the east coast coupled with an offer for some contract work in Colorado. My dear friend Kristin has been trying to get me to move to Boulder for approximately 6 years now so I figured that since I had to get on a plane to fly across the county for the 2nd time in 2 weeks I should make a stop at what I have heard is a beautiful place and see if it's somewhere I would like to stay.

WELL..I am not sure if it's because I was living in an ashram for 7 months or if it's because I am in my Ketu Period (check out Vedic Astrology-it's fascinating-part of yoga)...but I have felt like I have been swimming upstream (see previous post) since I have been here! Nothing has quite worked out as far as apartments and jobs and I find myself so missing the community and contemplative time at the ashram. So here I am: a fork in the road. Go back, or make a go 'outside'? I wrote an essay the other day about something much deeper than whether to go back to the ashram or not, but there is a parallel. It's about wanting to leave this earth...BEAUTIFUL MOTHER EARTH. Yes-those thoughts have crept in but not in a dark way-a contemplative way. In a way where the yogi realizes they do not want to keep going around on the same cycles...sort of like,"Been here, done that...I get it...I need to master this." And it's like the ashram because while I think it would be great to return; I want to be 100% I am doing so not to run away from this mundane life of working for a paycheck and cars and stoplights and television (distraction) and such...but to run TO the ashram because it's where I can continue to grow. And just like life on this earth...I want to leave when I am ready, not because it's too hard. See my thoughts below...written at a table in a bistro in Boulder one night while I dined alone on a veggie burger and gluten-free beer (!)

I don't want to keep doing this world. I KNOW THAT.

However, I don't want to be tired of this world because it's hard.

I want to KNOW the beauty, love, serenity IN this world (Mother).

Then I will want to stop doing this world because I will have tasted the sweet nectar that created all of this (Father).

I will want to join that out of a place of complete awe in such power and unending love.

Not because this life is hard

But because it's beautiful.

I'll want that love eternally so much that I can then surrender with ease.

Om tat sat

Airplane Reading: Special Delivery

As my first post, I thought I would share a quick story from my recent flight home to the east coast for a family emergency. In this blog, my purpose is to share tidbits of insight and wisdom that come through during my studies in yoga and life. My only hope is that even one person finds some comfort and inspiration here. Om shanti!

Sometimes we get a little gift in the pocket in front of us on the airplane. And sometimes we leave them. Sometimes, rather than a gift, it might be a temptation, as I recieved on this particular flight. I suppose we can see temptations as gifts too...in either case, whether we yield or not, we experience some sensory pleasure (usually followed by pain) or we resist and gain strength. The gift that I unwittingly left, and the one I recieved are so far apart in nature and yet all a part of the duality of our world.

Traveling from the ashram in Grass Valley, CA back to the east coast, I , with best intentions, brought along a copy of Swami Sivananda's, "Thought Power". I have been trying to get around to reading this book for some time now. I did, however, purchase a copy of Vogue at the airport newstand so that could be seen as the first indication I might not read the book... Taking my seat on the plane and preparing for the first leg of this venture across the country, I pull out all of my proposed reading materials: Thought Power, Vogue, and Cards of Destiny (more on that book another time) and stuck them in the seat pocket in front of me, leaving the Thought Power behind as I departed the aircraft to switch planes.

As I dug through my over-stuffed carry-on bag for said book that I was finally going to read, it was nowhere to be found. I pondered for a moment on where it could be and began to feel a smile spread across my face. "Oh the soul that finds that powerful book!" I thought to myself. Surely it is karmic that the next person to sit in that seat, or clean out that pocket, who finds that book and reads the wise truths of this great master's teachings on the mind and power of thought, will be changed forever. This could be their salvation; their awakening.

To know I was somehow part of this delivery from the Divine feels pretty neat. I somehow followed through on some karmic action to benefit another soul. So the question remains....why was the 'gift' in my seat pocket a copy of Us Weekly? ;)