On Falling in Love: The RUSH

Surely the subject of falling in love with another person does not normally arise within the yogic community. You see, our first duty is to learn to discern the real from the unreal and not to go about seeking pleasure and understanding from outside of ourselves. As my teacher taught, anything in this world that changes is not real. Things that don't change...real. For example, you could look at pictures of me or anyone at age 1, 2, 3 ect and I will look different. My body is changing and so from the yoga/Vedic perspective, the body is not real. Now there is something in those pictures that is NOT changing...the fact that in each photo it's me or you or whomever...there is something inside that doesn't change-who we are, our soul, our core.

After that first discernment, our next duty is to find peace of mind. In this we are sort of 'falling in love' with ourselves. To really find inner peace we will have to be in a place of complete acceptance of what IS. And this is true love. Acceptance is love.

So THEN...after all of this HARD WORK, it seems it is then we can fully and honestly 'fall in love' with another. Of course we can give/share love all day everyday with all people, plants and things. But we know what I am talking about here...THAT love. I can say I have been in love with another person. Only once. I have had love in relationships but looking back there was only one that was 'real'. And I had certainly not approached those first two duties(discernment, inner truth, self-love) yet and so the relationship didn't work out.

This morning, I was going through old emails. I found a poem that I had written to that one love and I want to share it. Just reading it reminds me of that lovely feeling...that RUSH of LOVE!

the world is ever swirling and it never really ends

I saw you only yesterday

but still i miss my friend

Don't you know?

My love just grows...

and though we may not know right now

what the future holds

answers fall from clouds and stars

and stories do unfold

Don't you know?

the story goes...

so rest your head upon my heart

and let me take a stand

to lend my all, my everything

and let your heart expand

Don't you know?

your love will grow...

Om shanti,

Sivakami

I'll Take Both!

When I had my first Reiki attunement back in October 2009, I had a vision...I was sitting on stage with Oprah Winfrey and we were talking। The only thing I remember her saying was, "look at you..."। When I 'came to' so to speak, came out of my little trance, I had tears streaming down my face। It was a pretty intense experience। SO...fast forward to this past winter at the ashram. A guest had come and shared the news that Oprah Winfrey would be ending her show. Gasp, horror! But wait...I think I am supposed to be a guest still...! And then we will fast forward to this past May. Arriving home with Kristin from a day at the office, she turns on the television (this alone has been a huge adjustment) and Oprah is talking and saying that she is looking for people to host a show on her new network to be called OWN TV, or the Oprah Winfrey Network. LIGHT BULB. I waited a few weeks then decided I simply must apply...I mean the vision and everything. But what would my show be about? I mean there's the nutrition stuff, the yoga, the fun & fashion...and then I dug deep within myself to see where I am right NOW in my journey and what I could possibly offer up to people.

I have personally been struggling greatly with this concept. There is certainly one side of me that wants to LIVE IT UP! I have been headed in that direction in the past: experience it all, lots of parties and dancing, strong desires for nice things. And then there was the big gear shift that came first with being laid off from my job ($/ego issues) and with my education at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition। I realized that in order to live with adequate energy and positivity, I would need to learn to be more mindful and to treat my body correctly-as it is the most elegant, expensive, important vehicle I will EVER borrow (that's right-we so do have to give it back)। And then the bigger shift-when I decided to get my yoga teacher certification। I could have gone to any old yoga school, stayed home and done a weekend program...but NO...I had to do it 100%, this I knew. And so ashram life came and became a part of me. Discipline, control, an understanding that the top priority in this life is to experience God-Realization (AKA awakening the Kundalini, Self-Realization, Liberation et al) and to find peace of mind on this crazy, erratic and seemingly out of control planet. WELL...I sort of want both. THAT is what I realize. Peace of mind=YES PLEASE. A comfortable life: THAT TOO. Contribution to fellow man= I'll take TWO!


I want to appreciate this human life, to understand that it is so sacred. But I don't want to run away from the humanity of it all to a place of complete focus on the spirit. I just don't find that that is what I am supposed to do. I am choosing to see that EVERYTHING is divine.-the birds, the bees, the traffic and the pollution too. It will be how I react, how I decide, and my motivations that will bring me peace or suffering. I suppose that if I can be the master of my life, in control of what I can, surrendering the rest, then I will have found that balance.


Lots of love...to a life in balance...with equal vision...and peace of mind :)





-Sivakami Julie