When I had my first Reiki attunement back in October 2009, I had a vision...I was sitting on stage with Oprah Winfrey and we were talking। The only thing I remember her saying was, "look at you..."। When I 'came to' so to speak, came out of my little trance, I had tears streaming down my face। It was a pretty intense experience। SO...fast forward to this past winter at the ashram. A guest had come and shared the news that Oprah Winfrey would be ending her show. Gasp, horror! But wait...I think I am supposed to be a guest still...! And then we will fast forward to this past May. Arriving home with Kristin from a day at the office, she turns on the television (this alone has been a huge adjustment) and Oprah is talking and saying that she is looking for people to host a show on her new network to be called OWN TV, or the Oprah Winfrey Network. LIGHT BULB. I waited a few weeks then decided I simply must apply...I mean the vision and everything. But what would my show be about? I mean there's the nutrition stuff, the yoga, the fun & fashion...and then I dug deep within myself to see where I am right NOW in my journey and what I could possibly offer up to people.I have personally been struggling greatly with this concept. There is certainly one side of me that wants to LIVE IT UP! I have been headed in that direction in the past: experience it all, lots of parties and dancing, strong desires for nice things. And then there was the big gear shift that came first with being laid off from my job ($/ego issues) and with my education at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition। I realized that in order to live with adequate energy and positivity, I would need to learn to be more mindful and to treat my body correctly-as it is the most elegant, expensive, important vehicle I will EVER borrow (that's right-we so do have to give it back)। And then the bigger shift-when I decided to get my yoga teacher certification। I could have gone to any old yoga school, stayed home and done a weekend program...but NO...I had to do it 100%, this I knew. And so ashram life came and became a part of me. Discipline, control, an understanding that the top priority in this life is to experience God-Realization (AKA awakening the Kundalini, Self-Realization, Liberation et al) and to find peace of mind on this crazy, erratic and seemingly out of control planet. WELL...I sort of want both. THAT is what I realize. Peace of mind=YES PLEASE. A comfortable life: THAT TOO. Contribution to fellow man= I'll take TWO!
I want to appreciate this human life, to understand that it is so sacred. But I don't want to run away from the humanity of it all to a place of complete focus on the spirit. I just don't find that that is what I am supposed to do. I am choosing to see that EVERYTHING is divine.-the birds, the bees, the traffic and the pollution too. It will be how I react, how I decide, and my motivations that will bring me peace or suffering. I suppose that if I can be the master of my life, in control of what I can, surrendering the rest, then I will have found that balance.
Lots of love...to a life in balance...with equal vision...and peace of mind :)
-Sivakami Julie
I really enjoyed this post. I relate to you so much. It's kind of like once you become immersed in yoga you want to go to an ashram in India and live that path of devotion but I believe there is a reason we are 'here' in this country, in this place of our lives. It's so we can live as an example to others, so we can take what we've learned and increase our awareness every day with every interaction we have with chaos and the worldly experience we are having. It's so we can share our light with the world b/c that is what it needs from us the most. Namaste to you beautiful one!
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Om Om Robin! Thanks so much for your loving support-we are kindred spirits surely and there is a comfort in knowing others who traverse the same peaks and valleys.
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