Growing up we didn't have a ton of sweets in the house. My mom would bake cookies, breads and brownies here and there. They were a treat more than a standard. Halloween meant candy, which I loved. And once I got into high school and could drive myself right over to the store where there were aisles of sweet stuff? Uh-oh, trouble. Who knows why I have such a sweet tooth. I have a handful of theories:
1) I took a lot of antibiotics as a kid so maybe my intestinal flora got wiped, replaced by candida (yeast) that is constantly craving sugar and I am its stupid host listening and obliging. Sounds scary right?
2) Because we didn't have a lot of sweets around the house, I knew it must be "bad for me" and so I went overboard with it in rebellion eventually becoming hooked on the stuff.
3) The psychological factor. Perhaps I crave more "sweet" in my life: touching, hugging, kissing, kind words, holding hands, playfulness, forgiveness, compassion, smiles...you know...the SWEET stuff. Sooo, instead of seeking that, chocolate and cookies are a much quicker "fix".
Cravings. Hooked. Fix. Habit...Sounds like I am a drug addict-right? Well kind of. If I am going to overindulge in something, it is going to be sweets. And since my arrival in Moldova, I completely let my guard down in this area. New place, new faces, wanting comfort: COOKIES. Tired from travel and learning a new language: COFFEE. Missing friends and family, hugs and smiles (not exactly handed out in these parts): CHOCOLATE. Relaxed and enjoying myself with my host sister: COOKIES with CHOCOLATE BUTTER (what!?-yes as tasty as it sounds).
After a good six months of this behavior, I finally hit a wall. Around the holidays I started to develop some awful stomach aches. If I didn't eat, if I did eat, if I ate cookies, if I ate veggies...everything was painful. My body was speaking to me: "JULIE!!! Enough is enough!" And thankfully I (finally) listened. After almost two weeks of successfully cutting out flour, sugar, dairy (except for yogurt), chocolate, and coffee, I am on the road to much better digestion. Trust me, there is no way to say goodbye to things like chocolate or coffee forever, but they will stay on my "treat" list where they belong. Or so I hope and will try...
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A little over a year ago I posted a short and easy 3 Day Detox that I love but many of the ingredients just don't exist in Moldova. (Note to self, work on Moldovan version). And not too far along after that, I posted again about alignment and about my relationship to food, but this time as a proclamation that I was moving away from talking about it. I was burnt out. I stated, "I know all I need to know". Hahahaha...how I laugh now. The truth is I do know what to eat to be healthy. What I didn't approach was how to go about doing that. I knew I was headed for some health challenges in joining the Peace Corps and moving to a foreign land. I knew I would need to adjust my diet. But what I didn't see was that it wouldn't be the microbes and the bad food that would get me, it would be my own choices that would.
Of course I should be a little easy on myself and understand that stress and yes, the microbes, do make health matters more challenging (oh and -7 degree weather! brrrr). But I guess what I am getting at is, I am BACK into food. Now that I have some healing to do, I am on the Internet looking for gluten-free recipes and am full of new ideas for yummy creations that don't require added sugar or flour. Sunflowers are one of Moldova's biggest crops, so here is to explorations in the world of sunflower seed flour! I think I will start with these. I will report back on my progress. Here's to continued learning, and to the JOY OF HEALTH. It is so sweet!
Om tat sat.
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