Uh-mazing. Sweet Sixteen.

Life is. Just that. I am in constant awe. It never escapes me the way that life loops in and around: taking, returning, receiving, giving. All of these energies and actions bring experiences that require us to constantly check in with ourselves (well once we are ready to do that) to see what is working, what is not, what is flowing, what is stagnant/stuck.

I have felt stuck for a long while now. I do feel blessed that while "stuck" I have experienced some uh-mazing moments, teachings and humans. But for myself, there was a path that I could see off it the distance. It beckoned for so long, but I was not ready to navigate it. The reasons? Many. Fear. How could I leave my family?

After the death of a close family member, for me my brother at age 21, it felt like going far away was an abandonment. So I stayed (relatively) close and tried to follow a path that (I thought) would bring the least drama (trauma) and the most joy for my loved ones. But the mistake here is that when we "try" to follow a path for others, the deceit we play on ourselves creates more drama (trauma) than that of following the path of our own truth.

Paths are never straight lines. Mine has gone ALL OVER!

I love that I am working to embrace flow. Opening up again. I will get stuck again, but hopefully will not stay stuck for quite as long. Flow, stuck, readjust, flow, stuck and so on...always learning, mostly flowing.

WELL...what the real point of this post is, is this: irony never escapes me. That is because irony is a subset of coincidence. And coincidence is a euphemism for synchronicity. And synchronicity ladies and gentleman, well that is the Universe speaking :)

In my getting unstuck, releasing my trauma from losing my brother, my trauma from losing close touch with my true Self...the trauma from the time spent buying in to the story of how life "should be" (you know, the whole game of playing right/wrong, good/bad...the world of opinion and judgement...you know, the one that doesn't work)...I decided to do something I had always wanted to do. After a good 4 months spent in spiritual practice at the ashram (where I was starting to gain some clarity.) I decided to (finally) apply for the Peace Corps. And so now, a year later, I am (finally) leaving for the Peace Corps.

I am leaving the publishing/PR work (which I was really enjoying), I am leaving my friends and family (only in physical form), I am leaving my yoga students(and another teacher will appear). And I am moving on to a whole different/same world. It's going to be bumpy!

In my attempt to gather all of my life together, finalize payments, sort papers, clothing ect., I am finding all sorts of fascinating relics from my 29 years on this planet. And something I just found, the thing that inspired this post, is "ironically" something I had written in high school. Before knowing about the Peace Corps, which I found out about in college. And so in how life goes around, in this moment I am reminded that my true Self, the being that is experiencing this world as Julie Frieswyk, DOES know abundance, DOES know about rising above human suffering and DOES have the strength, inner wisdom and peace to set out into the world, a spiritual explorer, a yogini in business, an ignitor of hearts.

I share with you the words of a 16 year old high school junior. She felt lonely for a moment (as I am sure she will again in Moldova-where she will serve) but she remembered why she was in fact NEVER ALONE. I feel so grateful that my 16year old Self could provide me with so much insight today. Reading the paper, I laugh a bit as she knew so little, yet knew so much. A LOT of what I learned about the world after 16...well... I am now doing the hard work of UNlearning THAT! She hadn't studied yoga, no corporate rat race yet, no job lay-offs...she had no idea what was coming. But she still understood what was truly importnant. Gratitude. (and was clearly battling some loneliness and jealousy issues, poor honey!) I never had a sweet sixteen party or anything like that. But finding this is WAAAAY better ;)

Loneliness is a crazy thing. How do we become lonely, surrounded by the constant beauty that of the earth? No matter where we may find ourselves, there is beauty. There is beauty in life. All aspect of what gift we have been given as living on this earth, are beautiful.

Now there are factors that can mask the beauty that lies beneath. Hatred, jealousy, and most of all hurt and pain. The hardest thing of all is to rise above these emotions. To rise above all these things and to make special care to notice the light, the love, that surrounds our planet.

We all have a divine right to love, to laugh, and enjoy life. Too often we get caught in the trap of pain. We feel alone, and therefore some lower emotion comes up, like jealousy. Jealousy, envy of those who are clearly "not alone". And with this comes pain.

Well, we are never truly alone. None of us. Alone is an illusion. We have life all around us. We should not feel jealousy nor envy for each of us have been given blessings, all different from the rest. And it is in this we are all special.

Admittance in that it is easier to see the bad, feel the pain. But it feels so much better to see the light and feel the love. Respect and love for all that is life will be returned once given.

It is in this we may rejoice, be glad, and be fully aware that we are never alone and that we always belong. To this earth, our home, a place of love.

Om tat sat.