On Beauty

Onto the ninth technique, meaning that I have been here in Moldova for nine months-wow! Hard to imagine the day when I will be writing about the 27th technique (which is "Omnipresent Splendor" so good thing I have plenty of time to chew on that)! I decided to stop titling these Ascension posts as "Techniques" and am moving to simply using the technique as a topic and in doing so, relating that topic back to how it leads us straight to our highest Self.

Beauty

The word itself can conjure up a vast array of images.  Close your eyes and silently repeat the word.  What do you see?  Perhaps a woman with any number of appealing physical traits, a flower, beauty products like cosmetics and perfume, the goddesses Venus and Aphrodite, a beauty salon, a sunny beach, a mountain view...and the list goes on.  What each of these images or ideas has in common is that they ignite something within us that is either pleasing, painful, or both.

Beauty is actually very useful, as I discovered in pondering my own karma with the subject. I used to think it was shallow. "Beauty is only skin deep" is a saying many of us liken to when we have been hurt because something we thought was beautiful/nice/kind turned out to be quite the opposite. But here's the catch 22...everything is beautiful and everything has the potential to be painful.  That is the duality of the world we live in.  You want to look beautiful, so you feel sad if you don't.  You want to live in big beautiful home, but your small apartment makes you feel cramped and unsuccessful. Whatever your longing may be, it is the beauty that we imagine outside of us that lures us to that thing.  And henceforth, when we realize that the beauty we see around us is just a reflection of our inner beauty and that the ugly we see around us the same, we can embrace that all is both.  But beauty draws us, hopefully in the end, to truth/love/peace.

"A candle loses nothing of itself in lighting another candle" ~Thomas Jefferson

As I began to point to earlier, beauty can stir us some not-so-appealing emotions, usually in the form of envy or jealousy. To tackle this broad subject I once again turn to my sixteen-year-old self for a piece of writing that came about when in the abyss of a time of jealousy, high school:

-----How do we become lonely, surrounded by the constant beauty, that of the earth? No matter where we may find ourselves, there is beauty. There is beauty in life. All aspect of what gift we have been given as living on this earth, are beautiful.

Now there are factors that can mask the beauty that lies beneath. Hatred, jealousy, and most of all hurt and pain. The hardest thing of all is to rise above these emotions. To rise above all these things and to make special care to notice the light, the love, that surrounds our planet.-----

The Buddha said, “When we find the way, we find the beautiful here and now, and know what beauty really is.”  To me this says that when we find our way, when we “ascend”, we are no longer grasping for some elusive ideal outside of ourselves. When our heart is no longer grasping, beauty is all that is left.

In the end, beauty attracts us and so draws us to connect-with one another and with our world. Let kindness be your beauty secret!

Om tat sat.

A Post on Post

Growing up I had many Catholic friends and come February, they would discuss what they were giving up for Lent.  In my Protestant family, I simply made crafts from palms got some great chocolates come Easter morning. No giving up anything. But now that I am grown and actually quite interested in spiritual observances AND dietary cleanses, I have taken notice to the practice of religious fasting here in Moldova.  Orthodox Christians are rather rigorous in their observance of fasting, believing that regular fasting is a crucially important discipline for one's spiritual growth. Here in Moldova they call this fasting Post. I can’t find anywhere on the Internet that describes it this way but here it is Post and I have decided to observe this practice this year. We are fast approaching the longest Post period of the year, known as the Great Lent. 

In general, this fasting means abstaining from meat and meat products, dairy products and eggs (which historically were considered more luxury foods than ordinary breads), fish, olive oil, and wine with some additional restrictions on certain days, and some other allowances on other days.

I wanted to explore, what is the goal of post? And here is what I found:

1. Purification of Body
2. Strengthening of will
3. The uplifting of the soul over the body
4. Above all, glorification of God and respect for His saints.

And here is a full rundown of how to follow this Easter-time fasting/post. There are a lot of details and I am not sure I will strictly follow the special days, but at least I know have this reference ;)

4 WEEKS OF PREPARATION (February 5 – 26)

• February 5 is the Sunday of the Publican and Pharisee and the week that follows (February 6-12) is fast-free.
• February 12 is the Sunday of the Prodigal Son and the week that follows (February 13-19) is a normal week. Wednesday and Friday of this week are fasting days.
• February 19 is Meatfare Sunday (the Sunday of the Last Judgment) and on this day you say “farewell” to meat. During the week that follows (February 20 – 26) you fast from meat only. All dairy, cheese, eggs, wine, and oil are permitted during this week.
• February 26 is Cheesefare Sunday (the Sunday of Forgiveness) and on this day we say “farewell” to cheese, dairy, eggs, wine, oil, etc.  (And by “farewell” you can actually have it on this day; it is the last day before the full fast).  After this begins the full fast…

GREAT LENT AND HOLY WEEK 2012 (February 27 – April 14)

In general, the fasting rules during Great Lent and Holy Week are as follows:

·         WEEKDAYS are observed as Strict Fast Days.  On these days we abstain from meat, dairy, fish with backbones, fowl, alcoholic beverages, and olive oil.

·         WEEKENDS are observed as Wine and Oil Days.  On these days the fast is relaxed to permit alcoholic beverages and olive oil.

In addition, two special “feastdays” that fall during this period - Annunciation (March 25) and Palm Sunday (April 8) -are kept as Fish, Wine, and Oil Days.  On these days the fast is relaxed to permit fish, in addition to alcoholic beverages and olive oil.

There are also certain days of the Lenten-Holy Week cycle that have special fasting rules.

• Great and Holy Thursday (April 12, this year) is observed as a Wine and Oil Day due to the commemoration of the institution of the Eucharist.
• Great and Holy Saturday (April 14, this year) is observed as a Strict Fast Day-the only Saturday of the year kept as a strict fast; however, wine (but not oil) is permitted.

-----

A dietary theory I have always felt good about is seasonal eating.  Not only does eating what Mother Nature provides in certain seasons make good sense financially and logistically, but it makes sense health-wise.  Storage fruits, root vegetables, and dried nuts in winter provide the sweet and grounding properties and nutrients we need to keep us warm.  Conversely summer’s light, juicy and sweet fruits lift us up to endure the long and warm days.  And so when spring rolls around, nature provides the first greens and sprouts, or foods that cleanse.  Spring is a great time for cleansing-it is called “spring cleaning” after all!  And so observing this fast is, for me, a kind of cleansing.  But more importantly, it will be an exercise of my will, to help me to strengthen my ability to rule, soul over body. 

It’s also a great reason to experiment how your body feels on a vegan diet.  Often the thought of just “going vegan” overnight can seem really overwhelming.  But if you know it’s only for 40 days and there are thousands of other people doing it too, it can help the mind and body to submit to the change with more ease.  There is no lack of information on the internet about the benefits of a vegan diet-whether they are for health or environmental reasons (or both!).  I am not here to advocate any certain way of feeding your physical body, but I am here to advocate feeding your soul.

And to keep in mind, here in Moldova we don’t have things like tempeh and rice milk, or even peanut butter.  I have heard rumors of tofu and soy milk in the capital and will see what I can find.  Those foods are certainly not something I want to eat every day, but will be helpful in getting creative with recipes. And since I will abstain from yogurt, I plan to learn more about fermenting vegetables and even have a lesson for sauerkraut planned with my Russian tutor, which I will post the recipe for on Taste of Peace. We need our probiotics! I will be sure to keep you all updated on the 40 days; how I feel, challenges, new-found loves for foods, awakenings (hey-a girl can dream). Here’s to my last weekend with yogurt for a while (or maybe forever?) Would you like to join me?

XOm!

References:

Wikipedia

All Saints Antiochian Orthodox Church

Can't Help Falling in Love...

I do a lot of contemplating about desires, wants, satisfaction, peace of mind, happiness, and in the end...love. Because that is what it all boils down to in my book. I have spent most of my life either dreaming about "falling in love" or going through the process, only to oh-too-soon be moving through the painful process of having that "love" taken away, fall apart, or simply seem to vaporize.  


Earlier this week, as a legend in music's death hit the news, a friend sent me a link to the one song that Whitney Houston shared with the world that really hit us all over the head. In my dear friend's words, "I will remember her as bringing one of the most powerful, positive songs into the world. She was meant to sing this song. The words so beautifully describe falling in love with the Divine within- truly the greatest love of all." Of course she was referring to the song The Greatest Love of All. I remembered being a small girl in the back seat of my mom's station wagon listening to that song. I found the greatest, love of all, inside of me.


I decided to share some of those lyrics on my Facebook wall as way to commemorate the late singer, but also as a reminder to myself and others about self-love. It's a topic that seems to be gaining mainstream popularity with articles about people never finding love (and living to tell about it-haha) and TED Talks about what actually makes marriage work (and how 50% fail within a decade). As I read through Houston's song lyrics, I decided to post the following lines:


The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all


What our minds leap to most quickly on the topic of love, is more accurately, relationship.  Love, as will be explained a little further down, exists within everything. Or in other words, life IS love.  They cannot be separated. It is only our minds that make up a story about us either having or not-having love. And as a friend commented under my post on Facebook, "It's not so easy to achieve!" And she is right. Learning to love ourselves is difficult. We are so much better, so much more used to, and so much more "rewarded" for being self-critical. While no one wants to hear another bragging about how wonderful their life is, it seems to be completely normal to discuss how horrible, dreadful our jobs, bodies, families  are. Where did this come from? Why is it so bad to be appreciative of all we have? To be IN LOVE with our lives?


Today, on Valentine's Day, a day where we celebrate this "relationship love", I have been listening to the Ingrid Michaelson remake of Elvis Presley's Can't Help Falling In Love. Aside from that I really like the artist's voice, I went into the listening with an open mind and heart. Where would my mind take me as I let it wander? I knew going into push play, that I might start to have those thoughts that say, "Why doesn't anyone ever fall in love with me?" and, "I wonder if I am lovable?" But I also knew that I was embracing the fact that I am where am in my life and relationships by choice. And knowing that I have an open heart...could I rise above those thoughts? I will "brag" here that I did :) As I listened to the words, I can't help, falling in love with you, I realized that the one person that I wanted to love more than anyone, and the one "person" I wanted to love "me"...more than anything, was me. 


I can remember being a little girl, perhaps around 5 years old. I was a goofy little thing. All smiles, laughter and mischief. She was aware of the love that she was full of. And then life happened and she started listening more and more to what the world outside of her said. She took those things and reflected back to herself that she wasn't "good enough" in so many ways. Today, I remember being her, being wonderful, and I accept that I am still her. And I love her.


I will close this post with the reminders I have posted here twice before, about love. These are the lessons of love I learned from my yoga teacher, Swami Sitaramananda:  


LOVE is:

1) Different than attachment. Attachment always brings along its friend fear. If we think it's possible to lose something, then we are attached. Attachment can indeed turn in to love-but only once fear is removed. 
2) Pure and Selfless. Love is to give and not to get.
3) Different than desire. Desire is insatiable. It can never truly be fulfilled. Desire implies something you don't already have (quite different from love which is in us all-at all times) and that you must look externally for it. This search leads to suffering.
4) Infinite. It is never damaged and it never dries up. Love has no beginning and no end. It is our natural state. It is our birthright.
5) Creative. It has the power to redeem, renew, transform. Once we open to love, anything and everything is possible.
6) Present in all conditions. It is the greatest wealth, the greatest peace, and it's yours NOW and forever.


I LOVE YOU!   OM tat sat.

Oops I Did it (Once AGAIN?!)

Sometimes we think we might never learn.  We make the same mistakes over and over and over.  And why?  Well it's because these mistakes are part of a habitual action that took years and years to create and will take years and years to deconstruct.  And every step is a small success...right?  Be gentle with yourself.


Growing up we didn't have a ton of sweets in the house.  My mom would bake cookies, breads and brownies here and there.  They were a treat more than a standard.  Halloween meant candy, which I loved.  And once I got into high school and could drive myself right over to the store where there were aisles of sweet stuff?  Uh-oh, trouble.  Who knows why I have such a sweet tooth.  I have a handful of theories:
1) I took a lot of antibiotics as a kid so maybe my intestinal flora got wiped, replaced by candida (yeast) that is constantly craving sugar and I am its stupid host listening and obliging.  Sounds scary right?
2) Because we didn't have a lot of sweets around the house, I knew it must be "bad for me" and so I went overboard with it in rebellion eventually becoming hooked on the stuff. 
3) The psychological factor.  Perhaps I crave more "sweet" in my life:  touching, hugging, kissing, kind words, holding hands, playfulness, forgiveness, compassion, smiles...you know...the SWEET stuff.  Sooo, instead of seeking that, chocolate and cookies are a much quicker "fix".  

Cravings. Hooked. Fix. Habit...Sounds like I am a drug addict-right? Well kind of. If I am going to overindulge in something, it is going to be sweets. And since my arrival in Moldova, I completely let my guard down in this area. New place, new faces, wanting comfort:  COOKIES. Tired from travel and learning a new language: COFFEE. Missing friends and family, hugs and smiles (not exactly handed out in these parts): CHOCOLATE. Relaxed and enjoying myself with my host sister: COOKIES with CHOCOLATE BUTTER (what!?-yes as tasty as it sounds).

After a good six months of this behavior, I finally hit a wall.  Around the holidays I started to develop some awful stomach aches. If I didn't eat, if I did eat, if I ate cookies, if I ate veggies...everything was painful. My body was speaking to me: "JULIE!!!  Enough is enough!"  And thankfully I (finally) listened. After almost two weeks of successfully cutting out flour, sugar, dairy (except for yogurt), chocolate, and coffee, I am on the road to much better digestion. Trust me, there is no way to say goodbye to things like chocolate or coffee forever, but they will stay on my "treat" list where they belong. Or so I hope and will try...
-----


A little over a year ago I posted a short and easy 3 Day Detox that I love but many of the ingredients just don't exist in Moldova. (Note to self, work on Moldovan version). And not too far along after that, I posted again about alignment and about my relationship to food, but this time as a proclamation that I was moving away from talking about it. I was burnt out. I stated, "I know all I need to know". Hahahaha...how I laugh now. The truth is I do know what to eat to be healthy. What I didn't approach was how to go about doing that. I knew I was headed for some health challenges in joining the Peace Corps and moving to a foreign land. I knew I would need to adjust my diet. But what I didn't see was that it wouldn't be the microbes and the bad food that would get me, it would be my own choices that would.  


Of course I should be a little easy on myself and understand that stress and yes, the microbes, do make health matters more challenging (oh and -7 degree weather! brrrr). But I guess what I am getting at is, I am BACK into food. Now that I have some healing to do, I am on the Internet looking for gluten-free recipes and am full of new ideas for yummy creations that don't require added sugar or flour. Sunflowers are one of Moldova's biggest crops, so here is to explorations in the world of sunflower seed flour! I think I will start with these. I will report back on my progress. Here's to continued learning, and to the JOY OF HEALTH. It is so sweet!


Om tat sat.

Technique 8: PEACE! (Or, Second Chances)

Swami Vishnudevananda, who started the ashram where I did my yoga teacher training, had a famous saying, "Health is Wealth, Peace of Mind is Happiness".  When I first heard those words, I knew I had found myself in the right place.  I have always been on the trail for how to feel the best in my body and in my life.  I could remember being very young and having so much energy that people would have to literally hold me down.  And then I got mono at age 13.  I haven't physically been the same since really.  So it's been a quest for that true wealth I remembered feeling as a vibrant and clear human.  Now I can reflect and say that being hit with an immune-crushing case of mono was something, but it was also that age: 13.  I was just getting into the tough social stuff at school.  My energy was not only crushed by a virus, but by what I was learning about the world around me.  It was hard for me to digest.  And still is...

And so good digestion, high energy, clarity of mind and spirit- have been my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  I chase them, and their attainment is the wealth I hope to accumulate.  I get distracted of course.  I have been quite distracted here on my Peace Corps adventure to be honest.  The desire to be comfortable with the new places and faces around me, led me straight into some bad habits.  And my body has rebelled.  I am lucky that I am as sensitive as I am; that I have probably caught whatever damage is happening to my digestive tract early-on.  But as someone who has studied nutrition and holistic living, it was startling to myself how far off track I could go! (Long story-short:  cookies, chocolate, coffee and wine became a norm rather than a treat)  Thank God for second chances!  I woke up today realizing it is February 1st.  This post, Technique #8, was supposed to be January's.  And the one I posted in January was supposed to be December's...there is a pattern here!  And this pattern is really messing with my peace of mind.  But today is a whole new month, a whole new beginning.  Every day we wake up, we have the choice to have a new beginning!


Peace.  According to Merriam-Webster, peace is the freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility.  We can apply this meaning to any number of areas:  peace on earth, peace in the Middle East, peace within a family, peace between enemies.  But the peace the I found myself so very interested in, was the peace the Swami Vishnu spoke of, peace of mind.  Ah, that sounds PERFECT.  That sounds like exactly what I want more than anything on earth.  Lovers, cars, money, jobs, fashion, status?  UMMMM....NO.  I want PEACE OF MIND.  Oh but wait, I want those other things a bit too...hmmm....(and here we go, watch how this works, dialog with self):

Oh my gosh, all I want is to feel at peace with all, especially with myself!
Really, I can just imagine, no disturbing thoughts, no negativity towards anyone....
Oh wait, didn't I just read that so-and-so is now designing clothes?
Hmmm...if I had just followed my dreams to work in fashion I would be using this pent-up creativity...I would be surrounded by beauty and color and making money and ......
Wait...Ah, that thought is hurting me!  I feel it in my stomach like a weird nervous pain.
OK-wait, peace, I want peace.
But wait, if I had a dream job and money and a husband and 2.5 kids, a house on the beach, oh and one in the mountains...wouldn't I have lack for want and wouldn't I THEN be peaceful?
(Some deep-seated, soft, knowing voice):  Nooooooooo
Oh right, I can choose to be peaceful now, can't I?  Dope!  


Does this sound familiar to anyone?  What is crazy is that that exact conversation can occur in one's thoughts over the course of maybe 30 seconds.  Can you imagine just how many thoughts are running through our minds daily?  Disturbing us?

The Eighth Technique establishes Peace with all of relative creation, thereby further stabilizing harmlessness. It also has the effect of confirming the most important relationship of the individual with the Source of All that Is: the limited self surrenders to the Infinite.


Two main ideas jump  out to me as I read this description from the document:
1.  further stabilizing- a stable sense of Self, a stable state of mind.  A lack of fluctuations of thoughts from one extreme to another, will indeed bring about peace.  The less excited and reactive our thoughts, the more HAPPY we will feel.

2.  the limited self surrenders- Surrender is a tricky thing.  As opposed to simply "giving up", we accept that there are things in this world we cannot understand.  We accept our placement, our position, our circumstances that cannot be changed and we live in grace.
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The truth is, we are living in a time when finding true peace of mind is very difficult.  In the ancient yoga traditions, this is the time of the Kali Yuga, a time of darkness.  And while we have so much intellect being sparked here on earth, as seen through the inventions and accelerated evolution of technology, the darkness refers to our ability to see into our selves, to understand our true nature (aka spirituality).  We are exposed to an increasing amount of information each day, and we have to first develop our discernment in order to know what to allow in, and what to block out.  But that takes time, patience and a person who wants to cut through the clutter more than they want to win, to own, or to prove.  I don't find it impossible for there to be peace on earth one day.  But I do find that this will first require each and every individual on earth to first find peace within themselves.  And this...this will take time.  Just remember...every day is a second chance, every day we can choose to move towards PEACE.


Om shanti.  Om tat sat.